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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Too much on your plate or dealing with too many people at home or at work will lead to confusion, limitations, and emotional upset. Take a moment to work on creative endeavors that ease your stress and lend perspective.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t stop short of your goals. Put pressure on anyone who slows you down. You can make gains if you are precise and detailed and if you finish what you start. Help will be offered if needed.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You need time to think before making a decision. Conflicting information will confuse you. Do your homework to discover what route to take. Inflict more discipline on the people for whom you are responsible. It’s important to get what you want.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Do what you can to make your home inviting. Collaborating with people who are working toward the same goal will help you cut corners. An interesting change will enhance your lifestyle and the way you approach alternatives.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Strive for greater stability, and you will avoid big thinkers who will cost you big bucks. Set your own criteria, and stick to a budget you can afford. Don’t be afraid to offer less; wait and see what you get in return.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You cannot allow someone to take advantage of you when the stakes are so high. You stand to get ahead if you network on your own behalf instead of for someone else. Traveling, attending an industry event, or signing up for a course will all lead to personal and professional benefits.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Keep a low profile, and work diligently toward a goal. Letting others interfere will lead to setbacks and trouble. Someone who feels threatened or is jealous will criticize you in hopes of derailing your plans. Stand behind your ideas.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You are on the right track. You can cut a deal with someone who sees the value in partnering with you. Travel will lead to talks and the possibility to expand a project you are promoting.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You may try to dodge an incriminating question regarding your personal life. In the end, it is best to offer the truth. Put whatever isn’t working behind you so you can move on with your plans without feeling guilty.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You stand to make gains through personal or professional investments. Real-estate deals, settlements, contracts, or even cash from an unusual source are possible. Doing something special to your home for your family or a lover will be beneficial.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You can go about getting what you want forcefully or strategically, but either way, there will be a price to pay. Ask upfront what is expected of you. You don’t want to leave any room for last-minute changes or surprises.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It’s time to bring your old ideas and partners together to turn your plans into a reality. Love is in sight, and whether it’s with someone new or old, you must put time aside to make personal promises.

 

 

 

 


Dubious Claims of the Blu-Ray Ads on DVDs:

• Every time you watch a DVD instead of a Blu-Ray, an angel dies.

• DVDs not only hurt your TV’s feelings, they stomp them into numbing submission.

• If you look closely at a Blu-Ray image, you can see captured astral projections of your dead loved ones waving hello.

• All Blu-Ray owners are texted the first two lottery numbers the day before each Powerball drawing.

• Blu-Ray owners get an extra 30 seconds of life support before the plug is pulled.

• In case of emergency, Blu-Rays will act as a floatation device.

• Until you make the switch, you will be woken each morning by Wilfred Brimley feeding you oatmeal while curmudgeonly berating you.

• DVDs sap your mind of all free will; Blu-Rays give you love and enlightenment. Make the switch, coppertop.

• Blu-Ray, when you want to Borg meld with stuff like *The Hangover 2*.

• DVDs will do things to your pets when you’re away — evil, terrible, traumatic things.

• If you’re still on DVDs, when you walk around the neighborhood, mothers will clutch their children a little bit tighter as you pass.

• Blu-Ray has a Nobel Peace Prize, and the DVD only has a Grammy. For jazz.

• Watching Blu-Ray gives you 30 percent of your daily nutritional needs.

• Because Blu-Ray is the parent who never abandoned you for alcohol.

• Blu-Ray is what our Founding Fathers fought for.

Brian Tanner thinks HD-DVD might still pull this one off.













 
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