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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You’ll be unpredictable and apt to get into trouble if you unleash your temper. Concentrate on accomplishment, not what everyone else is doing or saying. Isolation can be a good thing, especially if you have a job to do.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Pick up information that will help you advance. Travel that is related to business or education will pay off and set you on a course that will be prosperous. Good fortune is heading your way.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You’ll have marvelous suggestions, and offering help will certainly raise your profile, but be careful when it comes to your financial affairs. Someone may try to get you to donate or pay for something that is not your responsibility.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You can show emotions as long as you aren’t erratic when making decisions or discussing plans. If you are honest about how you feel and how you see things unfolding, you will avoid conflict. Love is on the rise, and making positive changes at home will ensure that greater opportunities will follow.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Before you spend, lend, or borrow, get financial advice. A change that alters your overhead will help you get back on track. Relying on a promise that has not been put in writing will disappoint you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Follow through with your plans. By taking action, you will impress someone who can help you make positive changes. A move, a business trip, or networking will pay off. Set aside a few hours for romance.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Work behind the scenes, or tie up loose ends that can help you financially. Don’t give in to emotional threats or angry complainers. Someone may be trying to take advantage of you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Pay attention to detail, and question unorthodox methods. Stick to what you know, and do things that feel comfortable. A lifestyle change may be necessary to continue doing what you enjoy most.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Think matters through before making a move. Not everything is as simple as it appears. Underlying circumstances will present obstacles that will put a damper on your plans. You need to deal with the people your plans affect before you can move forward without facing opposition.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You have all the right moves. Follow through with your plans, and you will get ahead. A contract, deal, or settlement will lean in your favor if you are open and honest regarding your motivations. You will impress the people who can do the most for you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Dishonesty regarding what’s being offered and what’s expected in return is evident. Dissect your options carefully, and you will realize you should go solo. Personal partnerships can be fun, especially with an old friend or lover, but determine the cost before venturing down that path.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It’s whom you know that will make a difference. Networking with people you meet while volunteering will bring the highest returns. Good fortune can be yours if you form an alliance with someone who offers as much as you do in return.

 

 

 

 


Mom Quotes:

• “You ran a marathon. You can’t seriously be scared to use a Neti Pot.” — Sure, because pouring salt water through your sinuses is completely natural and nothing to worry your stuffed-up little head about.

“Just make sure you put a little lip gloss on, and you’ll be fine.” — Yeah, I’ll be fine … unless it’s windy and my hair is constantly getting stuck to my lips.

• “Just stare back, glare, and say, ‘Bite me.’ They will never give you the evil eye again. They’ll be too afraid.” —This actually works on almost everyone; just don’t try it on your professors. Or boys who actually enjoy being bitten.

• “You’re running 20 miles with me tomorrow. Rain or shine, sickness or health. We didn’t eat enough food to feed a small army for nothing.” — Aww, can’t we do it for nothing JUST ONCE?

• “Carly, you have to flirt a little with the deli boys at HyVee. You have to say ‘I’d like 3 ounces of the most lean turkey you have … no marbling lines please.’ Then smile and look pretty. They usually dart for the cooler and slice it fresh for you.” — My mom, the master purveyor of choice meat.

• “It’s sad to think that poor little salmon swim upstream only to have sex, lay eggs, and then die. And we thought we had it bad.” — At least they get to lay all their eggs at once.

• “Hey, I just poked you on Facebook! Did you feel anything? Did it hurt? What does it mean to poke someone?” — My mom, the indiscriminate poker.

• “Yes, you’re a smart girl. Leaves are good, stems are bad.” — We were talking about cilantro, I SWEAR.

— Carly Correll couldn’t ask for a better momma.













 
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