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ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): Don’t make unnecessary alterations in your life. It’s important to keep things flowing. Problems at home will escalate if you get into a shouting match. Do whatever you can to ensure that the job you do leaves no room for criticism.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Do something that will mellow you out or make you feel good about yourself. Romance is in a high cycle. If you are single, engage in activities conducive to meeting someone special. If you are in a relationship, make plans for two.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Get in touch with someone who has been on your mind. It’s best to find out firsthand whether you should be dwelling on the past instead of moving forward. Attending a reunion or revisiting old ideas, places, or friends will help you rethink your future.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Emotions will surface, and sensitivity will mount. Don’t let anything or anyone get to you. It’s all about focus and refusing to let the little things bother you. Helping others will allow you to view your own situation with greater objectivity.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Changes due to situations beyond your control must be looked at carefully. You may need an outsider’s advice. You can make professional gains if you are practical and realistic. A new direction will be a refreshing change.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Getting together with familiar faces will lead to benefits and renewed feelings, plans, and expectations. Changes with regard to your current living arrangements are apparent. Do the right thing, and avoid opposition.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Proceed with caution. Don’t let your emotions overwhelm you at work. You can make promises as long as they are realistic and easy for you to honor. Once you have reached your goals, you will be able to help others.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your drive, determination, and convincing way of dealing with others will help you get your way. A trip that allows you to talk to someone face-to-face will help your project move along much faster. Set aside time to celebrate your gains with someone special.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A stubborn attitude will not help you get your way. You will have to be upfront about the way you feel and your intentions. A relationship will be in jeopardy if you try to avoid issues or go behind her or his back. Take care of old business before you start something new.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t procrastinate. A contract or settlement can lead to greater financial freedom. Take a closer look at a partnership that has the potential to help you achieve your personal or professional goals. Love is in the stars.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You need to stimulate your mind and be creative. A change at home will help you develop a way to increase your assets. Make a deal, and you will be able to stabilize your situation and build a better future.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Accommodating others doesn’t have to mean giving in. Stipulate what you want in return, and you can build an equal partnership that can benefit all involved. Love and romance should be included in your agenda.

 

 

 

 


Increasingly apparent signs that Robin might need a therapist:

• “Holy buckets of pudding, Batman.”

• “Holy tears of a clown, Batman.”

• “Holy ominous rain clouds that never seem to let me be, Batman.”

• “Holy repressed memories of witnessing my parents’ death, Batman.”

• “Holy walking up walls is an obvious metaphor for my excessively abnormal lifestyle, Batman.”

• “Holy the Penguin reminds me of my uncle my parents would never leave me alone with after that one time, Batman.”

• “Holy seriously, Batman, do you ever cry deep into the night, only to finally fall asleep out of exhaustion on your salt-stained pillows?”

• “Holy wingless angels who cry never-ending streams of blood, Batman.”

• “Holy cow, have you ever noticed how much Barbara Gordon looks like my mother, Batman?”

• “Holy … holy hell, Batman. Why are we even here? I mean, does what we do in Gotham even make a lick of difference? I … I’m just not sure that it does. I need a stiff drink, Bruce.”

• “Holy put a sock in it, Bruce. What do you care if people know you’re Batman? Bruce Wayne is Batman. BRUCE WAYNE is BATMAN. Ha. Now it’s out there. Just try getting it back.”

• “Holy — hic — holy — hic — holy tat-o-nine-cails, Matbam. hic”

• “Holy crap, Batman. I’m going back to bed. Wake me up when something — anything — matters. ALFRED? Where’s my Scotch?”

— Andrew R. Juhl thinks Nightwing is the better superhero, anyhow.













 
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