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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don’t be so hard on yourself; there are plenty of other people who will do that for you today. Not everyone will understand what you are trying to accomplish. Impulsiveness will be your downfall, so take a deep breath, and wait for the right time to make your next move.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The time to make your move is now. Love is on the rise, and socializing and networking will be successful personally and professionally. Aggressive, honest communication will get you the results you want.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Concentrate on the personal aspects of your life, such as family, home and finances. Someone who can alter your future monetarily will appreciate your desire and the initiative you take to make a difference.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You may not want to share your plans with anyone, but keeping a secret may lead to trouble with someone you love. Before you decide to take a chance, consider the consequences should things not turn out as planned.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your insight regarding financial investments and contractual negotiations will help you make good choices. Don’t let someone else’s uncertainty or fear prevent you from doing what you know in your heart is right.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You can make a difference at home. Put a little effort behind your promises, and you will get ample returns from the people you are dealing with. Love is in the stars; by nurturing a new or old relationship, you can improve your current lifestyle.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You may be emotionally fragile, but that doesn’t mean you should back away from fixing whatever is wrong in your personal or professional life. Face the music head on, and you will feel better at the end of the day with the changes you have brought about.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take your goals into account before you make a rash decision that may not suit your needs. There is money to be made if you let your intuition guide you. You’ll get an insider’s view that will help you make a good choice.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Travel may entice you, but before you spend on something you don’t need, consider what else you can do with the time and money it will cost for a moment’s pleasure.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You can make headway if you focus on how you can make your investments worth more. A contract with someone you want to spend more time with looks encouraging. Love and romance are highlighted, and plans for two should be made.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You have to compromise if you want to get ahead. Focus on what’s really important. Do your best to keep the peace and to nurture what you have. Now is not the time to rock the boat, and using force will backfire.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Look around before you leap into something you know little about. If you don’t see others clamoring to get involved, reconsider your motives. Physical activity will help you chill out and put things in perspective. Slow down, and rethink your position and your next move.

 

 

 

 


Google dispels some common misconceptions:

“Contrary to popular belief”

… Twitter was invented in 1935.

… New York is full of mechanical bulls.

… Just because a parish music group can make a CD doesn’t mean it should.

… elephants do not provide good relevancy tests.

… Megan Fox is really a MAN

… America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

… nipple torture was not at the top of Harry Potter’s list of favorite kinks.

… I’m not a cat lady. Yet.

… going shopping is really about stopping afterward for cheesecake.

… your customers aren’t Vulcans.

… Pandas don’t just eat bamboo, they also eat local search sites.

… there are actually good reasons to buy a Chinese iPhone over the real thing.

… the Titanic didn’t hit an iceberg.

… NOBODY OWES YOU ANYTHING.

… attractive women are allowed to be feminists.

… it doesn’t always kill babies.

… what happens in Vegas does NOT stay in Vegas.

… the 20th century was a good one for commercial apple varietal diversity.

… it is easy being green.

… Herpes is so whatevs.

… the first organisms that inhabited Earth weren’t unicellular creatures — but Bokeh.

… karaoke killed the cat.

… English women do not wear tweed nightgowns.

… medicine is the best medicine.

… boats are actually much safer than cars, which inexplicably sink every time you drive them on water.

… Lolita fashion is not about being sexy.

… getting “fresh” is not easy, although all the rappers would lie to you so you think it is.

… dolphins cannot talk.

… SIZE DOES MATTER.

… redheads can wear red lipstick, as long as it’s an orange-based red or coral.

… Stacy’s pants don’t fall off when she hears the word “vodka.”

… the flush toilet was not invented by Thomas Crapper but by a young British plumber’s apprentice named Nathaniel Poop.

Andrew R. Juhl asks, “There, now, don’t you feel more informed?”













 
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