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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your uncertainty will show, requiring you to heed the suggestions of a good friend or relative. Be cautious, however, that you don't allow anyone to take over. Listen to what's being said and take action.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Put a little oomph into what you are doing. It's not enough to go through the motions when so much depends on performance these days. Less talk and more action will bring great results.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You have to see people and situations for what they are and react accordingly. Someone you work with may be trying to sabotage your efforts. Impulse purchases must be avoided. Precision will be necessary when dealing with institutions.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Put your imagination to work. Your changing philosophy and spiritual quest will encourage you to alter the way you do things. Travel, networking, and communicating with someone from your past are all favored.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Work quietly behind the scenes on investments, deals, or settlements. Share information with as few people as possible. A professional opportunity may not be as promising as portrayed.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Make room at home to work on a project that has the potential to turn into extra cash. Getting in touch with someone you haven't seen for a long time will be uplifting. Let love blossom.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Focus on what you can accomplish. It's important to recognize when something is at a standstill. Let your intuition guide you in money matters, as well as in affairs of the heart. It is better to address a situation face to face rather than at a distance.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): With a little discipline, you will be able to complete deals, make good investments, and resolve settlements. Your concern, coupled with common sense and logic, will help you come up with a plan that benefits everyone involved. Romance is on the rise.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do your own thing, and refrain from trying to get the approval of those you know are not on the same page as you. Changes made at home will help you use your time and space better.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You'll have greater insight into moneymaking and how to best put your talents to work. Don't be afraid to apply a little pressure if it will help you get things done to your specification.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You can settle your differences with someone whom you owe or who owes you. Keep your emotions intact, and refrain from making a scene if someone does something you don't like. Get household chores out of the way.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You aren't likely to see things too clearly. Don't act before you have had a chance to evaluate the facts and figures available to you. Love is in the stars, so put time aside for someone you love. A solid offer looks promising, but it may require taking on too much responsibility.

 

 

 

 


Notes to Self:

• No matter how good a song "He Stopped Loving Her Today" is, you should remove it from your gym playlist. Otherwise, you will get all teary and falter on the treadmill, and then all of the incredibly cute, fit ladies will not believe that you are crying because you're such a sensitive man; they'll think you're bawling because the treadmill sent you hurdling backwards into a row of elliptical machines. And they'll be (mostly) right.

• When someone shouts, "Oh, my god," you should not reply-shout, "Oh, your god." Especially during sex.

• A peeling sunburn on your forehead and a navy-blue dress shirt are a bad combination, especially on days you have to make a class presentation.

• "You're prettier than my ex" is considered a compliment and a confidence booster to women when beginning a new relationship. Though it essentially means the same thing, "You're not as ugly as my ex" does not evoke the same response.

• The next time you think you might crap yourself, trust that feeling.

• Shaving your cat is not an acceptable solution to the problem of constantly needing to vacuum.

• When you girlfriend says not to get her anything for Valentine's because money is tight and you shouldn't be wasteful, don't listen to her. It's much better when she's "mad" at you for not listening to her than it is when she's severely pissed-off at you for following her suggestion.

• "You have a very soothing voice" is the correct thing to say to a woman. "You put me to sleep" is not.













 
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