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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Try to get along with everyone, and focus on challenging prospects. A chance to make a lifestyle change will be based on how involved you become in a philosophy you investigate. Open-mindedness and discipline will be the keys to your success.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Work diligently toward a cause you believe in, and it will improve your reputation, as well as bring you an interesting proposition. Don’t go overboard when it comes to investments or indulgence.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Criticism can be expected. Take the comments to heart, and you will be able to make improvements. You have to be more objective if you want to make the best long-term decisions.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You may be looking at the big picture, but the small, important details will end up making a difference. Trying to hold on to something you should have let go of a long time ago will make you unhappy, revengeful, and stuck.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You will be able to call the shots if you step into the spotlight. A change at home may not be what you expect, but it will be to your advantage. Don’t make a fuss over nothing; you will gain ground by letting things unfold naturally.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your intuition will guide you in the right direction, but it won’t initially be that easy to get things off the ground. Don’t be discouraged — if you work hard, you will have a better sense of what is required to reach your goal.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Uncertainty regarding your home and family can be expected, especially if you have been procrastinating. You may need to take a leap of faith to please someone you love.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You cannot and will not move forward if you keep refusing to make a decision. Let your imagination and intuition direct you. Waiting for someone else to make a move will lead to regrets.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your energetic way of involving everyone in your plans will put you in a leadership position. You will be able to structure how you want things to flow and the outcome that will bring you the greatest rewards.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A partnership opportunity will open a door that was closed in the past. Communication will be the key. The comments made will help you tweak your plans and ensure that no one will interfere with the outcome you are trying to achieve.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don’t believe everything you are told. You have a good head on your shoulders and must draw your own conclusion if you want to be respected by your peers. A mishap may occur if you promise too much or overdo it in any aspect of your life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You aren’t likely to get much accomplished if you fuss over every little detail. Take a break; consider letting someone else pick up the slack for a change. The more spontaneous you are in your pursuit of pleasure and happiness, the easier it will be to enhance your personal relationship.

 

 

 

 


It’s Probably Made in China if …

• The care instruction tag says “Do not wash in dryer, wipe only with a damn sponge.”

• Your aromatherapy hippo stuffed animal (that can also conveniently be heated to a warm and cuddly state in the microwave) includes the warning: “Caution! Product will be hot after heating.”

• Your packet of imported peanuts cautions “WARNING! MAY CONTAIN NUTS.”

• Your toothbrush package says, “Do not place in mouth. If contact is made, call poison control.”

• The Apple light on your MacBook lid is actually a giant panda eating a pear.

• Your fire alarm is complete with a tag that reads “Warning: Flammable.”

• The new blanket you bought has a tag that informs you it is made of 100 percent linen and 100 percent Egyptian cotton.

• A table comes with assembly instructions (as well as screws and glue) that advise, “Do not screw until dry.”

• Your new Nike shirt says, “Just did it.”

• The wine cabinet you just bought came with instructions stating, “Do not drink while assembling this cabinet.”

• While installing a toilet in your bathroom, you notice a small sticker that says, “DO NOT USE until fully installed and functioning.”

• The tag on your new teapot says “KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN MADE IN CHINA”

• The new bra you treated your boobs to has a tag that says “Made in China” right above a picture of Germany’s flag.













 
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