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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Think before you respond. Dig deep, find out all there is to know, and you will avoid a mistake that can cost you professionally. Love is highlighted. Enhance a current relationship, or meet someone new through a friend or educational pursuit.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Nothing should be too much trouble or out of reach if you put your mind to it. You have plenty to offer and lots to gain by making your voice heard and following through with your plans. Don’t be too rigid.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don’t let your emotions push you down a slippery path that has the potential to affect your status or your professional position. Offer your services, not your cash. It will parlay into other opportunities that can bring you profits as well.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Jumping into something too quickly will leave you vulnerable. Stabilizing your domestic situation should be your prime concern. Setting a strict budget or ground rules may not be well received.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’ll be torn between what you should do and what you want to do. You have to gauge your time accordingly if you want to make a profit. Emotional deception can lead you in the wrong direction.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Put more emphasis on work and professional gains. Watch your back, and make sure you stick to your priorities. Letting someone else cover for you will be a mistake. Getting involved personally with a colleague will not pan out.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you have to use force, think again. Going with the flow will bring far better results. You are in the driver’s seat, and once you recognize how favorable your position is, you will be able to manipulate without pressure. A romantic setting will stir up feelings.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t let your emotions get the better of you, causing a problem with someone you care about. Not being able to make up your mind will create a rift with someone you need on your side. Choose your words carefully, but do not waffle.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Keep your story straight, and don’t exaggerate. You will be up against some stiff competition when it comes to knowledge and skills. Make alterations at home or to a partnership arrangement so you will feel better about future prospects.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t limit what you can do because you are afraid to take a chance or to take on more responsibility. A commitment someone gives you will help you make your final decision. Opportunity will result from a proposal made.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Time spent on self-improvement will pay off. A chance to express your emotions should lead to a decision regarding your personal life. A relationship that means a lot to you will stabilize.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Expect to experience difficulty trying to extract information from someone you are connected to emotionally. Listen and observe until you feel more confident about making a decision that will influence your home or family.

 

 

 

 


Random thoughts:

• Ever notice the abbreviation for the last three days of the work week is WTF?

• They say that brevity is the soul of wit, but I don’t know. Wit is just an idea; does it really have a soul? I guess Plato would say it does, but you know where he is now? He’s dead.

• Last night I dreamed there was a zombie outbreak in Sudan. So, like, be on the lookout for that.

• Maybe I should stop turning my opinions into jokes. Then people will never know my real opinions. I’m like the boy who cried sarcasm.

• What defines a “big rack” on a woman? On a deer, I’d say anything over eight points. But on a woman? Probably more like 14.

• Brilliant idea for an energy-conservation/efficiency consultant agency name: UseLess™ Consultants. There. It’s in the ether now. First one to the patent office wins.

• According to a recent study, Americans will believe anything if you say it’s from a study and it makes them feel superior to others.

• I love commercials that pretend to be real-life conversations. It’s usually like two women in a kitchen talking about periods or something, and then one of them just starts straight up dropping obscene amounts of knowledge and product specs about Kleenex or some such fluff. “Did you know that Kleenex is made with 17 percent recycled organic alpaca wool?” Well, I do now, Crazy Lady Who Talks Like Nobody Ever Talks Ever.













 
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