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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You have plenty of great ideas, and people will listen to your perspective. Ultimately, the changes going on around you will be beneficial. An emotional matter may be disruptive. Be patient; romance is heading your way.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): There will be no shortage of things to do. Put pressure on the people who must finish one task before you can begin another. Idle time is the enemy, and progress should be your goal. Surround yourself with responsible individuals who have never let you down.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Speaking from the heart will bring about unexpected changes to your plans, a friendship, or the way you feel about someone. Don’t fight the inevitable when you have so much to gain if you let things develop naturally. New friendships will result.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t force change. Timing will be crucial if you want to avoid a burden that really isn’t yours to bear. Keep your plans a secret until you have worked out all the details. Look forward, not back.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You will impress someone who will make a very important introduction, opening a host of new opportunities. Don’t lead others to believe you can do something you cannot. Your accomplishments will speak for you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’ll have to juggle professional and personal responsibilities. Listen to complaints, and do your best to find solutions. Don’t let a sorrowful situation cause you to miss out on an opportunity to learn or to make a change.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Everything is starting to fall into place. Hard work will pay off, and recognition will be yours. Do what works best for you, and eventually, everyone will support your actions. A change of scenery will give you a wake-up call.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t let a plan you have or someone you are close to cost you financially. Renovations should be geared toward the type of lifestyle you want, not what someone else wants for you. A change of scenery will inspire and motivate you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’ll be able to persuade others to support your efforts, but before you go on a campaign to drum up business, make sure you have your facts straight. You don’t want to offer something based on an assumption. Make changes to lower your costs and raise your profits.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Look around you, and it will be quite evident that you have more control than you realize. Take your time, and base your decisions on your own projections. Make your home base more conducive to the plans you have.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Get in touch with people you share interests with. You’ll be motivated to get involved in a pastime that can turn profitable. Romance is in the stars, and time spent with someone you feel completes you will inspire you to make personal improvements.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You can expect to face opposition. Money matters will cause problems with individuals you owe or who owe you. Now is the perfect time to rid yourself of people or situations costing you emotionally or financially. Past experiences will help you now.

 

 

 

 


What I Know About Women’s Fashion:

• The fashion industry is decidedly sexist, if only because they use an actual measurement system for men — and a pedantic, Sesame Street-esque counting system for women.

• It’s not at all uncommon for women’s clothes to have numerous sequins, buttons, flowers, zippers, and beads, yet not a single functional pocket. Because why would a woman need a pocket when she has such a pretty purse? It’s not like women carry around their own money or identification. You still want to argue the fashion industry isn’t sexist?

• Ask a guy what he is wearing, and he will say, “A shirt, jeans, and shoes.” Ask a woman what she is wearing, and she might say, “An opened-backed mauve blouse with a heavy-scooped front, but I have it stretched over-the-shoulders to accentuate my décolletage. California vintage. Bought at the cutest little boutique just outside Denver, right before spring break — that’s where I also got the bestest velvet mukluks you ever did see (oh, I’m not wearing them now, but there’re just the key-yute-test). Now let me tell you all about these slim-fit, heel-cut, acid-washed jeans …”

• Along the lines of the last joke, have you ever noticed all the differences between white and black people?

• Compared to the males, the UI’s female population has a disproportionately higher percentage requiring a fifth year of undergraduate work. They’re drawn to stay an extra year because it gives them the unique opportunity to exercise their winter, fall, spring, and summer wardrobes — sometimes all in one day.

• Women dress for other women. Men don’t care what women wear; they could just run around naked, and we’d like them all the same.













 
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