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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Organization will be the key to your success. Communication will be important and will ensure you get what you want and when. Don’t rely on anyone who gives you a sob story or appears to be emotionally unstable.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Talks will make the difference, no matter whether you are learning or teaching. Greater involvement in activities conducive to improving a personal relationship will help you establish your position and your plans for the future.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You may be questioned about the way you are doing things, but if you have a plan and it is working for you, stick to it. The less everyone knows about what you are doing, the easier it will be to finish. Don’t let a romantic situation stand in the way.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Take a wait-and-see approach. Once you have had time to assess your situation, you can move swiftly to reserve the spot you feel most comfortable representing. You can outsmart and outmaneuver anyone trying to back you into a corner.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You don’t need to be the one who does everything. You may be trying to impress someone, but falling short will not help. Focus on what you do best, and keep things simple. You may have to push others to do their part.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t give up when the going gets tough. Bypass whatever doesn’t need your undivided attention, and focus on the root of the problem you face. Emotions are likely to get involved in a discussion regarding responsibility.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You’ve got plenty to look forward to, so stop dwelling on the past. Once you let things go that you cannot change, you will forge ahead and make great strides personally and professionally. Remember that you have wisdom, experience, and courage.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You may have spread yourself a little thin. Neglect will lead to complaints. A trip or conversation with someone knowledgeable will ease your mind and help you establish a workable financial plan.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): An emotional matter will get you thinking about future plans. Facing responsibilities head-on isn’t your style, but this time, end one thing before starting another. Change your plans, set the record straight, and you’ll send a positive message.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Entertain friends, or network with people who share your interests. You will make professional contacts and develop new partnerships. Taking care of domestic issues or fixing up your place to better suit your needs should be on your agenda.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don’t let personal problems stand in your way. Size up your situation, and make changes that will allow you to use your skills and services. Talks should be handled professionally, without emotional undertones.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Things can go either way, depending on the way you handle the people you are dealing with. Don’t be smug or pretend to know it all. Ask questions, and show interest in what others have to offer. The choices you make now will influence how well you do in the future.





Rejected Ad Campaigns:

• M&M’s: It’s gonna have to melt somewhere, so why not your mouth?

• McDonald’s: Our meals now contain 75 percent food.

• Barnes & Noble: A good place to take a nap.

• Marlboro: You’re going to die anyway.

• Hallmark: Celebrate your love with a piece of paper you’ll throw away in an hour.

• Fancy Feast: Because you cat is more important than the homeless.

• Esurance: Come on, buy it. We dare you.

• Nissin Top Ramen: As cheap as cardboard but with twice the flavor.

• IBM: The world’s top supplier for James Bond’s villains.

• Hanes Undershirts: Also good for not beating your wife in.

• Arby’s: When you just gotta eat somewhere.

• PBR: Look, we don’t care if you’re a hipster; we’re just glad someone is drinking this crap.

• Whole Foods: If you haven’t figured it out yet, we buy all of our stuff from Wal-Mart.

• Siemens: Come on now, let’s be adults.

• Coca-Cola: A cola that won’t cause your insides to melt.

• Pepsi: That only happened twice.

• RC Cola: Screw it, we give up.

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