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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Learn whatever will add to your skills and knowledge, and you will have greater interest in making changes that will improve your life. Keep company with people who motivate and inspire you. Don’t let love stand in your way.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Common sense and practicality won’t be your strong points. Emotional situations will develop if you don’t walk away from people who are a poor influence. If you don’t stand up for what you want, no one else will.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Manipulation is apparent. Keep things simple, be a good listener, make up your own mind, and be aware of all the possibilities. Sincerity will make it difficult for others to give you a hard time.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): There are many sides to a situation you face. You have to give everyone the opportunity to reveal her or his position before you make up your mind and make a move. Suggestions will be received much better than demands.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t make decisions if you are emotional about the situation you face. Financial or contractual deception is apparent. Don’t let a past partner or experience interfere with what you do now.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Listen carefully, respond with thoughtfulness, and you will not only maintain control, you will captivate your audience. Don’t let the serious side of life hold you hostage. Allow time for adventure and personal gratification.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Get involved in events, activities, or social functions that will bring you in touch with people who inspire you to move forward with your creative dreams. Hard work, preparation, and good organization will be key. Avoid any financial or contractual offer that sounds too good to be true.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A contract, deal, or proposal will start to pay off. Opportunity is apparent, and the people you connect with now will be significant in your life for some time to come. Don’t let your lover distract you from what you must finish.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Past mistakes will come back to haunt you. It’s best to make amends and resolve old debts before they turn into something unmanageable. Domestic or personal changes can improve a partnership. Keep steady progress in a positive direction.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The changes you make to your personal assets or other investments will pay off royally in the future. Renovating or making a residential move will be favorable. Love is in the stars, so socialize or nurture a current relationship.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Assess your situation honestly; your inability to look at the real cause or situation you face will lead to a poor decision. Rely on the people who have supported and advised you in the past. A change of scenery will do you good.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Face adversity head-on. Being honest and brave enough to deal with matters will bring you the respect and the support you require. Secret affairs will not turn out well. A friend or relative will object to something you are doing.

 

 

 

 


Definition: ‘cuddle monster’

Definition 1: (noun) one who makes growling and/or snarling noises during acts of intimacy — occasionally to the degree that unwarned roommates or exceedingly nosey neighbors may mistake said noises as coming from a trapped, dying, or rabid animal. Ex.: “Rod was such a loud cuddle monster that Karla had to ‘put him down.’ ”

Definition 2: (verb) to engage in acts of an overt sexual nature that may lead to more intimate acts, including (but not limited to): groping, spooning, dry humping, and — for males — agreeing to watch *The Notebook*. Ex.: “After we get back from the gym, want to shower together and cuddle monster?”

Definition 3: (noun) one who cannot keep one’s hands off of the body of one’s significant other. Ex.: “Jack and Jill were total cuddle monsters this afternoon in the produce aisle.”

Definition 4: (noun) an extremely needy girlfriend, such as one who calls her boyfriend at his workplace and demands to know when he took his lunch, with whom, and how long before he comes home. Ex.: “If Susan weren’t so hot, Peter would dump that clingy cuddle monster in a heartbeat.”

Definition 5: (noun) any very sensitive, affectionate man; the type of guy who asks to be the little spoon. Ex.: “Robert is such a snuggly, wuggly cuddle monster on Sunday mornings, it’s hard to make it to church on time.”

Definition 6: (transitive verb): the action of cuddling of your favorite childhood stuffed animal — in a completely APPROPRIATE way. Ex.: “I just got dumped via text, so I’m going to down a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and cuddle monster Mr. Pookiebear.”













 
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