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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Greater precision and more attention to detail will help you attract interest in what you say and do. You can outmaneuver the competition by following through and leaving no room for error. Don't let an unpredictable person lead you astray.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The people you meet and what you learn from having open discussions will help you make important decisions. People from different backgrounds will enhance your knowledge, your experience, and your ability to expand your business interests.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Pay off debts or collect money that's owed you. A quiet but strategic approach to where or how you live will allow you greater freedom to make beneficial life changes. Love is in the stars.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Broaden your horizons. A small side business will help you bridge the financial gap. A proactive approach will help you take care of your financial situation as well as any concern you have within your community.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A sudden change will highlight your day. Good fortune is within reach. Recognize that you are a worthy match for anyone who wants to challenge you. Your knowledge and experience will lead to victory.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Get your thoughts and feelings out in the open. You cannot fix something if you don't address the issues head-on. Talks will lead to decisions and the changes you need in order to do your best. Network all you can.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Stop procrastinating, and start dealing with any pending problem so that you are free and clear to move forward personally, professionally, financially, or emotionally. An unexpected proposition will help you get a handle on your financial situation.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Expand an idea from the past to include a sought-after service. Finding ways to make your services more affordable in an industry that is highly competitive will be your ticket to success. Be a pioneer and embrace new concepts and methods.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You have to deal with any emotional problem before it takes over and affects the way you perform at work. Accept any unexpected changes that come about at home. Your free spirit will take you on a personal, social adventure. Be careful not to mix business with pleasure.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Listen — but wait until you have more information before you take on a challenge or confront someone trying to meddle in your affairs. Focus on home, family, and protecting what's yours rather than dealing with someone who may not share your ethics.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Before you make promises that are legally binding, review what's expected of you. A change in the way you do things will affect your life and your status. Your attitude and expertise will help you make your plans work.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Relationships will be difficult emotionally. A change of heart or plans will leave you dealing with matters you aren't prepared for. Remain open to suggestions, but don't agree to a plan or solution that is not fair to you.

 

 

 

 


Finals Prep:

• History: Briefly describe the events preceding and following the Civil War, beginning with Great Flood and ending with the successful American-led invasion of Gygax 9. Relate all events to distinct personal anecdotes. Hokeyness will be penalized.

• Biology Practicum: Genetically engineer and housebreak a gryphon. You have three hours. (NOTE: Gryphon does not need to be of mythic proportions; anything larger than a standard poodle will do.)

• Political Science: Provide nine methods for subverting the separation of powers in a trifurcated president-led democracy. Use examples of successful past attempts by local, state, federal, and student governments, as well as how they would be perceived by the reanimated corpse of a disinterred Woodrow Wilson.

• Fine Arts: Find, procure (through barter or purchase), and smoke some weed. You have six minutes.

• Combinatory Math: Nathan has three lilac shirts, four mauve shirts, and five lavender shirts. By wearing no color more than two days in a row, how long can Nathan remain closeted to his father?

• Algebra: Let X represent Johnny Depp and Y represent Hugh Jackman. Write a scenario wherein (X + Y) = (Sex on a boat).

• Calculus: Let Y = X4 + X7 + 47. Now, you could solve the problem for X, but what the hell has X ever done for you?

• Physics: Provide the correct date and time of Armageddon. Show your work. (HINT: remember that 2032 is a leap year.)













 
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