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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Taking on additional responsibility will help eliminate the pressure being felt by a friend or relative. Be careful not to overextend yourself in the process. Romance is in the stars.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Concentrate on what's important, whether it's getting your homework or job finished or simply running errands for someone who needs your help. A conversation with an old friend will remind you of past dreams and hopes.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Keep a close eye on your money. You can expect to receive extra cash, but you can lose it just as quickly if you aren't careful. Stick to a budget, or put your money into a solid, safe, long-term investment. Added discipline will lead to bigger accomplishments.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you are too giving, someone will take advantage of you. Protecting your interest emotionally and financially is important. A partnership will face uncertainty. Keep an open mind, but don't go down a path that isn't right for you.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Hard work will pay off, but if you slack off, know that someone will do whatever possible to make you look bad. A change of scenery will do you good. Love is in the stars, but don't mix business with pleasure.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A lifestyle change or updating your old philosophy will give you a boost and allow you to meet people who feel the same way you do. Making alterations now will allow you greater freedom in the future. Don't put your money on the table before you try out the merchandise.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take care of legal and health issues quickly. The less you leave undone, the better. Don't let anyone dissuade you from doing what you feel is necessary to protect your home, family, or finances. Get professional help before you sign legal papers.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A new partnership can bring you good fortune and motivation and inspire your creativity. Direct communication will bring the best results. A change of plans will turn out to be a blessing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Adventure, excitement, and physical challenge will stimulate your senses and motivate you. Making changes to your home or an addition to your entertainment center will help bring loved ones closer together. A hidden asset will turn out to be more valuable than you thought.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Stick close to home, and take care of any personal matters that concern family or your residence. Don't let friends or neighbors push you into anything you don't want to do. Travel plans and communication will not run smoothly.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Stick to the people you know and trust. A change in the way you do things or how you earn your living looks favorable. Opportunity is about to knock, so be ready to jump at any chance fulfill your dreams.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You'll impress others with your insight and empathy. Someone you have done business with in the past will do you a favor or have a lead that can help you advance and boost your income. It's you who should be doing the pushing.

 

 

 

 


Not-so-helpful finals advice:

• If you drank a lot of coffee while you studied, then you need to drink a bunch right before your test your brain can remember everything better.

• Spanish words that end in -o, -a, and -e are masculine, feminine, and transvestite, respectively.

• If you have a final in a PE class, then you're the only person who does.

• Communication majors: Don't forget to bring the full box of crayons to your finals. With the built-in sharpener, of course.

• The perfect break from studying is an all-day "Law & Order: SVU" marathon.

• Wikipedia is usually more up-to-date, credible, and well-written than your textbook. Even the Wikipedia entry on Wikipedia says so.

• Final exam start times are pretty flexible; if you're five or 20 minutes late, it's no big deal.

• The best way to learn material really fast is to put all of your books under your pillow before you go to sleep and then sleep on the floor.

• Drawing cartoons instead of writing short answers is always advisable; it shows the graders that you have such a firm grasp of the consent.

• Flirting with the professor is guaranteed to raise your letter grade … among other things.

• If you're going to attempt to cheat, sit in the front row. They'll never suspect it.

• If all else fails, resort to blackmail and/or bribery. Hey, if it's a poli-sci class, you might even get extra credit.













 
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