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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Use any obstacle that stands in your way as a motivator to reach your goal. Work quietly behind the scenes, where no one will disturb or deter you. Know in your heart that you are on the right path, and be relentless in your pursuit.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Secret information will help you make an important decision. The work you do now will pay off. Take care of any paperwork or dealings that involve government agencies and financial or medical institutions.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You will face complications regarding money matters. Don't get involved in joint financial ventures or with anyone who is unpredictable. Keep your finances a secret. Questions will be asked if you are too vocal.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Children or older relatives will put unreasonable demands on you. Get the whole family involved so you aren't stuck with the brunt of the responsibilities. A good partnership can develop professionally.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Stick to what you know and do best and follow through with your promises. A sensitive issue at work must be avoided. Love is highlighted, and an affectionate evening should be planned.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Visit with friends you don't get to see very often, and you'll discover something that can alter the way you move forward professionally. The opportunity to pick up additional skills will prove effective toward future advancement.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A relationship problem will develop if you or someone you are dealing with is indecisive or cannot make a commitment. A financial boost will help ease your anxiety and pay overdue bills. Get your personal paperwork in order.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You'll be pulled between work and family. An opportunity to advance is apparent. Avoid a conflict by taking your work home and putting in a late night. Balance will be the key.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Mix business and pleasure, and you will come up with a workable situation that allows you to get everything done and have a good time. Put a little pressure on the right people, and you can manipulate an investment or debt owed to you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Be careful what you reveal. Someone will be listening intently, looking for any opportunity to misinterpret or meddle in your affairs. Expect delays while traveling and unexpected alterations in your plans due to someone's miscalculation.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Problems from your past will surface. Face whatever comes your way before it has time to fester and turn into something too difficult to handle. Be responsible with your personal finances.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Be honest and direct but don't give away information that isn't necessary. The less others know about your personal and professional affairs, the better. Taking on additional responsibilities will enhance your reputation. Be creative when dealing with emotional matters.





Misleading Song Titles

• "Breadfan": To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what the title of this song indicates. A fan of bread? A device for fanning bread? A fan MADE of bread? In any case, now I want Panera.

• "Can't Buy Me Love": Throughout the song, Mr. McCartney seems to be bribing a woman to say she loves him. Maybe a better title would be "Can't Buy Me Love But Can Buy Me a Suitable Facsimile."

• "Aqualung": Someone has yet to satisfactorily explain to me how scuba gear relates in any way to a crazy homeless pedophile in a park. Am I being too picky here?

• "God Save the Queen": After careful consideration, I'm pretty sure the Sex Pistols were being ironic. This means the guys have a leg up on Alanis Morissette.

• "Mellow Yellow": This song is NOT about the delicious citrus-flavored soda manufactured by Coca-Cola. Rather, it has something to do with flying, women named Saffron and Frontine, and electrical bananas. So … I'm guessing weed?

• "Walk Like a Man": OK, but also sing like a girl?

• "Wee Wee Hours": Did you know that "wee" can also be a synonym for "small" or "late"? For the longest time, I just thought this song was about a guy with prostate issues.

• "Here's Where the Story Ends": Well, OK, but what's the deal with the remaining three minutes and 30 seconds of the song, then?

• "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow": Er … actually, this song is EXACTLY what it sounds like. Forget I mentioned it.

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