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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Uncertainty will be your downfall. Size up whatever situation you face, and make a decision — or someone will do it for you. You may not relish your current situation, but if you're patient, things will turn out reasonably well.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Take on more responsibility. What appears to be good fortune is more than likely false. There will be too many facts that haven't been revealed for you to make an accurate assessment regarding a job that interests you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Help an acquaintance meet a deadline, and you'll form a friendship you can count on. Your versatility will surprise someone in a position to offer you cash for your services. Creative financial budgeting will solve your problem.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Check out what everyone has to offer before you decide what you will contribute. Too much responsibility will weigh you down, causing anxiety and a disgruntled attitude. Socialize with someone you love or who is sympathetic to your situation.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Take care of any of the demands being put on you by a family member. Once you clear up what needs doing, you will be free to get involved in projects, events, or activities that will contribute to your emotional or financial well-being.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Put pressure on people who owe you a favor or cash. It's time to collect and to move on. A connection you make to someone who shares your opinion and lifestyle will show potential, either personally or professionally.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You'll be limited by someone's actions if you don't speak up. Applying a little force may be necessary if you don't want to take on burdens that don't belong to you. Rely on past experience or someone who has dealt with a similar situation.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Social activities should include colleagues, friends, and family. Mixing the people you like will give you greater freedom to put your time and energy where you feel it's most required, without facing any complaints. Romance is highlighted.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Finish what you start, especially at home and for those dependent on you. A secret meeting or relationship you have may be consuming too much of your time. Emotional deception will lead to an unsavory situation.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don't be too eager to pay for friends, lovers, or anyone trying to get something for nothing. Before you offer assistance, make sure the motives on both sides are legitimate. Communications can turn ugly pretty quickly if you aren't careful how you handle situations you face.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Adapt one of your attributes, skills, or talents as your focus for future goals. Whatever you enjoy doing most should be turned into a serviceable endeavor that can enhance your financial status.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Look over your budget and financial situation before you proceed with any business plan. Consider taking on a partner who can offer whatever you might be lacking in experience. Love is on the rise.

 

 

 

 


Ill Omens:

• You meet a girl named Paula at a party.

• You see a fat guy standing near an open flame.

• Your phlebotomist's name is Michael J. Fox.

• Your girlfriend wants to give you some space.

• Your boyfriend wants to spend more time with your sister.

• A buzzard, crow, vulture, mallard, and an eagle fly above you in the V formation.

• You meet a tattoo artist without any tattoos.

• You call your mother, and she claims she doesn't speak English.

• Your union is protesting collective bargaining.

• You break a mirror, and several shards of glass stick in your neck.

• Your Netflix suggestions are *The Happening*, *Love Guru*, *House of Wax*, and *Never Say Never*.

• Your roommate leaves a tray of brownies on the stove.

• Your neighbor calls you to ask why you've been shutting your blinds recently.

• A black cat crosses your path, defecates, and then spins its head 360 degrees.

• You meet a surgeon with an Etch-a-Sketch and a Swiss army knife.

• Your loan company sends you an altar boy costume and a gag ball.

• Your stuffed animals call you crazy.

• Dark storm clouds are gathering in your closet.













 
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