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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Plan to attend events or get involved in activities that will take your mind off any worries you have. Enjoying a little downtime or spending time with someone you love will ease your stress. Pamper yourself.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Socialize with your peers and industry movers and shakers. How you get along with the people around you will make a difference to how fast you advance. Putting in extra hours or offering to take on additional responsibilities will put you in a valuable position.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Stick close to home and to the people you know and trust. Getting involved in a group or with someone who is overindulgent can lead to a financial problem. Moderation and resourcefulness will help you remain within your budget.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t allow a personal or business partner to take advantage of you. Spend extra time on your own emotional and physical well-being. A tougher attitude will bring you greater respect.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A change of pace or lifestyle will help you reinvent your goals. You will pick up extraordinary information if you engage in heart-to-heart talks. Recognition and advancement are within reach.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): There will be far too much at stake to take any financial risks. Dealing immediately with agencies, institutions, or anyone in a superior position will help you eliminate what could be a problem later on. Diplomacy will be a must.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take a serious approach to any partnerships you have. The more you cater to those you need in your life to get ahead and be happy, the better off you’ll be. Compromise and listen to what everyone has to say before you make a decision.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Double check any information or stories you are being told. Someone may be trying to hide something from you to spare an unpleasant encounter. Take an interest in what others are doing, and you will be inspired.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Live up to your promises, or you will upset someone who cares about you. You won’t be able to get away with anything, so lay your cards on the table. A change at home will make your life much better and far less stressful. Share good times with someone you love.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t give in to anyone trying to push you in a direction you don’t want to go. Travel and communications will be difficult, and they could lead to minor mishaps if you aren’t careful. Do as much from home on your own as possible.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’ll come up with some interesting ways to make extra cash. A serious attitude will help you get your point across and your plans out in the open. An opportunity to partner with someone will bring positive results.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You’ll be expected to do more if you want to get ahead. A problem at home can be fixed if you are willing to take on additional responsibilities. Make sure that you are thinking clearly before you make a decision that may affect your relationship with someone you deal with daily.





Horrible Children’s Show Ideas:

• “Grandpa Frankenstein” — Little Billy has a secret: His family is descended from the original Dr. Frankenstein, who lives in the basement of the family home. Each week, he struggles to keep the secret and his friends from becoming the victims of the doctor’s grisly experiments. Hilarity ensues.

• “Iron Chef: EZ-Bake-Off” — Just like the adult version, except contestants have six hours to complete their creations.

• “We are Muppet Babies” — The adorable Muppet Babies, after the Zombie Apocalypse.

• “Dirty Jobs for Kids” — Each week, our intrepid 8-year-old host gets to see what it’s like to work in a different Third World factory with other kids his age.

• “Time Out” — Think HBO’s prison drama Oz, set in a kindergarten.

• “Pimp My Buggy” — Why wait until they are teens to introduce them to unrestrained materialism?

• “Story Time with Glenn Beck” — In an effort to keep government funding, a new show for PBS with Glenn Beck, doing what he does best: Telling fairy tales.

• “Survivorkid” — Take a child and strand him in the wilderness with nothing but a few tools and his wits.

• “Junior Knight Rider” — Mikey has a super cool artificially intelligent Big Wheel that he uses to fight crime and impress the other second-graders.

• “Behind the Mythological Figure” — Documentary series that goes behind the scenes, exposing the dark secrets of such luminaries as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the worst of them all … the Tooth Fairy.

• “Snotman and Booger Boy” — An animated tale about a kid who can produce a world saving superhero from his own nostril, then eats him once the job is done.

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