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ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): Make life work for you, instead of you for it. You can pick up where you left off with an old friend. Not only will it bring back ideas, it will help you explore new possibilities. You can find new love or spend time with your current partner.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Keep close tabs on what institutions, agencies, or other large corporations are doing with your accounts. Compromise will work best if you are trying to get ahead personally or professionally.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Love is a two-way street, so do not to cross lines that can lead to a crash of personalities. If you are fun to be with, your partner or person you are interested in will want to be by your side. Your dedication and determination to achieve will help you get what you want.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t be too quick to share your ideas and plans. Not everyone will be in agreement with you. Concentrate on what you can do to make someone you love happy, and you will avoid being blamed for neglecting your home and family.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Step into the limelight by sharing your thoughts and opinions. You will end up in a leadership position if you show your versatility. Favors will be granted, and the chance to make a difference will unfold.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t let anyone take advantage of you. Spending on something that will not benefit you directly should not be considered. Don’t feel obligated to take on someone else’s responsibilities. Question the motives of anyone who is too complimentary.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Plan a mini vacation or short trip to enhance your emotional or romantic life. Getting together with someone you enjoy spending time with will change your plans for the future, giving you greater opportunities and more to look forward to.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Do something nice for you and your family. Plan an excursion or book yourself in to your local spa. The time you spend fixing up your residence or upgrading your technology-based entertainment equipment will be worth it.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don’t let one person get you down. You have so much going for you and plenty of support from friends and family. Make decisions that will improve your lifestyle and allow you to get involved in challenging and entertaining activities.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Take care of your own responsibilities. Expecting someone else to cover for you will be your downfall. Do not criticize or complain if you don’t want to face opposition and possible isolation.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Start to implement ideas that you have not had a chance to pursue in the past, and you will find a way to earn additional income. You can make changes to your home that will increase its value or make a move that will free up cash or lower your overhead.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Not all will feel the same way you do, and they may not like the decisions you make. Someone may try to sabotage your plans. Don’t allow your emotions to take over, or you will be labeled unstable.

 

 

 

 


How I Celebrated Buddha’s Birthday:

· Looked for Buddha’s Facebook profile to wish him a happy birthday.

· Wondered how anyone wished him — or anyone else, for that matter — happy birthdays before the invention of Facebook.

· Thought about deleting the post for fear Buddha might be a Jehovah’s Witness.

· Ate so much birthday cake I looked like Buddha.

· Decided to name my food baby Buddha.

· Realized I misspelled Buddha’s name when I wished him a happy birthday.

· Commented on my own post that it’s stupid to have a silent “H” in his name and he should get it changed.

· Included links to information about liposuction.

· Sat crisscross applesauce.

· Stole a ship’s steering wheel.

· Listened to Nirvana.

· Rubbed my belly.

· Rubbed the bellies of random people on the Ped Mall.

· Sat around with my belly hanging out with an obnoxious grin on my face.

· Tried to stretch out my earlobes with really heavy earrings.

· Jammed out in my dorm room to Justin Timberlake’s “What goes around comes back around,” adding personal interjections of “Karma’s a bee-otch.”

· Dressed like Marilyn Monroe and practiced my rendition of “Happy Birthday, Mister Buddha.”













 
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