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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Share your ideas and plans for the future. You will receive additional options that will increase your chance of being successful. Your attitude will help create greater interest and give you a better view of what you can expect in the future.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Focus on your personal life and your emotional well-being. You will discover something that eases your stress and ensures you will be at your best when it counts. Make changes to your image and outlook to better suit your lifestyle.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don’t let what other people do bother you. A last-minute change will work in your favor. You’ll have the discipline to finish what you start and make an impression on someone who can help you advance.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Put more time and effort into your personal life and relationships, where you will receive greater appreciation for the little things you say and do. You can expect coworkers to be competitive and underhanded.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Travel, visit friends, colleagues, or an expert in something you want to find out more about. Getting back to old hobbies or interests will have an effect on your ability to earn more cash. A geographical change will spark your imagination.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Put love first. How you relate to others will have a lasting effect on the way you approach people in the future. Make the first move, and offer something that means a lot to you to someone you love. Use your charm and honesty.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don’t let indecision depress you. If you are having trouble making up your mind, rely on your intuition. Much can be resolved if you open up discussions with someone you are in partnership with or would like to be with.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Plan to have some fun. The stress you’ve been living with needs an outlet, and no matter what else is going on in your life, spending time with someone who makes you laugh or inspires you should be your plan. Love is looking good.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You can make some interesting changes to your home that will please anyone who lives with you. Be careful not to upset a friend or neighbor in the process. A problem will develop in the romance department if you are evasive.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Compensate for someone who tends to exaggerate, and you can avoid a potentially costly problem. Avoid traveling to locations that have unrest. You will face unexpected opposition. It’s best to focus on home, family, and love.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Get serious about your future. Take what you enjoy doing, and incorporate your skills into a moneymaking endeavor that subsidizes a project you want to pursue. Hooking up with an old business partner will lead to greater opportunities.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Follow your heart — pursue your dreams, hopes, and wishes. Talk to people behind the scenes who can offer you suggestions and wisdom in your pursuit. Don’t miss out on a romantic opportunity because you are too busy working.

 

 

 

 


April Fool’s Day Prank Ideas:

• Sneak into the victim’s car and adjust everything: radio at full volume, wipers on high, air conditioning on max setting, seats pushed all the way forward, parked at the bottom of the Iowa River, etc.

• Point at your victim’s chest, acting like he has a spot on his shirt. When he looks down, sleep with his significant other.

• Make a batch of caramel apples and pass them around to a group of people, your victim included. Only, make sure your victim gets the one that’s actually an onion and laced with PCP. Then, tell your boss you think your victim is on drugs and should be urine-tested.

• When your victim is in the shower, sneak in and grab their clothes, all the towels, and the bath mat. When they emerge from the shower with nothing to dry them off, take pictures of them naked and post them on Facebook.

• Remember that “Drew Carey Show” episode in which Mimi drugged Drew and then air-freighted him to China without a passport? Chloroform your victim, tie them up, and make them watch that episode on a loop for a week.

• Put some salt on the victim’s toothbrush, then stab them in the leg with it. It’s funny, because the salt will sting in the freshly opened wound.

• While the victim is asleep, reset all their clocks ahead two hours. Then, just before the real time they normally wake up, burst into their bedroom and tell them they’re late and that there is no such thing as true love.

• Offer to make a sandwich for the victim. Then don’t. Wow … you’re a dick.

Andrew R. Juhl took the basis of pranks used in this column from the website www.aprilfoolzone.com.













 
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