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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Make a big splash. You may as well go for the biggest and the best, especially if it will encourage others to take note of what you are capable of doing. Now is not the time to hold back. Stand tall and proud.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Visit a destination that will reconnect you with a person and place that will help you resolve an uncertainty. It’s difficult to move forward when you are holding on to the past. A revealed secret will put your mind at ease.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Offer love, friendship, and honesty, and you will avoid a dispute. Now is not the time to lend, borrow, or to take on a joint financial venture. Keep your assets separate and in a safe place, and you will have no regrets.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You’ll be caught in the middle if you haven’t been open and honest about where you stand on certain personal and professional issues. A lack of consistency will be mentioned if you don’t firm up and move forward.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Mix and mingle, get involved in causes or events, and most of all, include someone you care about in your plans. You can make substantial changes to the way you live your life by focusing on what’s important. Love is in the stars.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It’s your get up and go, stamina, and determination that will impress onlookers. Use your clout and your knowledge to persuade others to contribute to your cause. Don’t sit back when you can make a difference.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Get out and have some fun. Sharing your thoughts with others will inspire you to do something creative or will spark an interest in making personal changes. You will discover information that will change the way you view physical and lifestyle alterations.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Work on your home, making the changes necessary to improve your lifestyle. Problems with your lover can easily be resolved if you discuss financial alterations that will free up cash and help you both feel less stress.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Not everyone will be upfront and honest with you. Ask questions to help you decipher whom you can trust. Protecting your personal information will help you avoid rumors that may hurt your current status.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Stick to what you know and do best. Rely on your experience to get you through whatever you face now. Old goals can be revisited, and commitments can be made as long as you don’t overspend or overdo it in the process.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Keep things simple, and watch out for anyone playing an emotional mind game with you. Pushy people must not be allowed to dictate what you can or cannot do. Let your charm buffer negativity.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A problem with a neighbor or friend will develop if information has been withheld or rumors are being spread. Handle information with discretion. Be fully aware of any limitations that might be put on you should you give out false information.

 

 

 

 


How I Prepared for Spring Break:

• Walked around outside all week in nothing but a T-shirts and shorts to ensure I would appreciate a season-less climate as much as possible.

• Took the stairs to my second-floor classroom instead of the elevator. I hear stairs are good for the booty.

• Tried on 34 pair of sunglasses at the store before deciding they all made me look like a grasshopper.

• Tried on 14 different bikinis before deciding it was impossible to decide. I resorted to buying online. Oddly, the hotness of the models greatly influenced my decision, even though I’m not a guy.

• Walked everywhere with an umbrella for the last four months so I’d have the best before-and-after tan pictures on Facebook.

• Finally went to the new rec center after noticing the $225 “Recreation Facility Fee” in my list of “Mandatory Fees.” (Also after noticing that my arms jiggle when I play beer pong.)

• Dug through three boxes to find flip-flops that matched my nail polish.

• Bought travel-sized versions of every toiletry I own. (To be fair, I would’ve done this anyway. They’re just so cute.)

• Bought a Claddagh ring just to further advertise the fact that I’m single.

• Realized the closest I’ve been to a guy in the last seven months happened on the Cambus when the driver hit the brakes and I “forgot” to hold on. Unless I count the drunk guy who fell asleep on my shoulder and drooled on my panda blanket in the Mayflower multi-purpose room.

• Three razors and two hours shaving.

• Stocked up on Avoid the Stork products. (What? They make good lip balm.)













 
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