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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don’t lose your temper when what is required is love, not criticism and name-calling. Refine your approach when dealing with people who don’t see things the same way you do. Play fair.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What you offer others will be appreciated and the favor returned. Getting involved in an activity or with an energetic group will help you look and feel your best. If there is something bothering you at work, talk to your superior.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You can sway some of the people you deal with, but not everyone will buy into your charm. Prepare to answer some tough questions. Be straightforward. Do not give the impression you are hiding something.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t stop until you have exhausted all possibilities. What you do today can make a difference to the way the rest of your year will unfold. Being progressive and even a little bit pushy will pay off when it comes to advancement.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The best part of the day will be socializing with colleagues or friends. Trying to spice things up will entice someone you want to impress. Don’t reveal how you feel just yet. Keep someone guessing if you want to get a successful response.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Take action now, and you will learn a lot from what you experience. A change in attitude regarding money matters will help you clear up a misconception someone has about you. Play to win, and you will.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don’t get caught in someone else’s melodrama. You may not want to rock the boat, but if it means you will be blamed for something you didn’t do, you had better speak up. Take a cordial but firm approach to any problem you face. Love is in the stars.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Bury yourself in what you enjoy working at the most. Don’t be afraid to take an unusual approach to life, love, and finding happiness. Alterations at home will make your life more interesting and allow you greater freedom.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Not everyone will like what you are doing or how you are treating the people around you. Complaints can be expected, especially if you exaggerate or push others to do things your way. You cannot force anyone to be your friend or lover.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You can make some marked improvements to your surroundings both at work and at home. If you feel more comfortable, you will do better and excel further. Have patience when dealing with children, parents, or your lover.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If something isn’t working, stop going against the grain when what’s required is symmetry. You can have a lot more than you realize by offering help and suggestions and listening to the way the people you care most about are feeling.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Someone you meet is likely to play an emotional game with you. Cut to what’s important, and intervene if you must. You must put your own plans first if you want to reach your deadline or goal.

 

 

 

 


Today’s To-do List:

· Find that peanut butter cup I lost in bed last night.

· E-mail that nice Nigerian fellow to see why the $25 million isn’t in my bank account yet.

· Finish burying the body. (Note to self: pre-dig next time!)

· Call to see if homeowners insurance will cover damage from indoor bull riding.

· Cut down the hedge that’s blocking my view into the neighbor’s bedroom window.

· Think of a good explanation for why I’m cutting down the hedge for the sixth time.

· Take monthly shower (if time).

· Freeze all that leftover panda meat.

· Go in to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters.

· Take down Christmas lights and bring in jack-o-lantern.

· Call CBS and see if it is taking applications for “Two and a Half Men.”

· Organize my toenail collection. (But alphabetically or by toe size?)

· Pick up new binoculars and parabolic microphone at post office.

· Launch Operation: Stalk Jessica Alba v2.0.

· Go to the Library and paste pictures from *Playboy* into all the Dr. Seuss books. Late fees? I’ll show you late fees.

· Make doctor’s appointment. I really don’t think it should be that color.

· End war, stop world hunger, cure cancer, and pick up a gallon of milk at the store.

· EDIT: Find out why my bank account is closed??!!













 
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