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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Do what you can for others without judging, or you will end up being the one criticized. Crossing the line between right and wrong will lead to aggressive and unsavory action. Take an easygoing and humble approach if you want to excel.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Pull in help from whatever source you can to get things done, but keep a close watch. You will be judged on your performance as a leader and a team player, so you will only be as good as your weakest link.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Uncertainty will set you back. Whether it’s you who cannot make up your mind or someone you are collaborating with, be willing to make a decision. An unexpected question will leave you in an awkward position. Honesty will spare you further grief.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Use your imagination on the job, and you will secure your position. Taking an authoritative stance will prove that you are able to delegate work as well as get the job done on time and to specification.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Attend work-related events that can help you connect with people in your field. The more contacts you have, the easier it will be to stay on top of interesting positions that may open up. Right time, right place lead to success.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Separate what you want from what you don’t, and move forward. Greater opportunities will come if you accommodate others and become more self-sufficient. Good relationships will complement you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Get out with friends or your lover, or take a mental-health day. You don’t have to spend a lot to have a good time. Added discipline will help you address a personal challenge and come out on top.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Let your heart rule your head, and follow your basic instincts. You will be able to make changes that will help you enjoy your home, family, and personal life that much more. Make alterations to your living quarters.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don’t ruin a good opportunity because you are engaged in a feud with someone who has shown you nothing but inconsistency. Rethink your strategy, and take a new approach. An old flame is thinking about you. Make contact.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t let an emotional situation distract you. It’s important to finish what you start. Take on the tasks you yourself own, and you will show everyone how competent you are.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Now is the time to put a little cash away for an unexpected expense. Lending and borrowing will backfire, causing a problem between you and someone who is important to you. A responsible attitude will set the way for how others treat you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You’ll have trouble hiding your feelings, so clear the air. Communication will be necessary if want to be successful in love, life, and your financial position. A clear conscience will enable you to strive for your goals without hesitation.

 

 

 

 


My Parents Are Awesome

• “You always have to match your bra to your underwear, and they have to be cute — just in case.” Mom, I wish I had listened in high school when I had my emergency appendectomy, which was (of course) the one time I’ve ever had a cute male nurse. You were right, Mom. You’re always right.

• “They won’t know it’s tequila; it looks just like olive oil.”

• “Put a little lip gloss on, you’ll be fine.” And if you’re my Mom, it may lead to free deluxe car washes, extra punches on your customer-loyalty cards, and never paying extra for guacamole. Perfect way to pinch a penny.

• They think the song “Like a G6” is actually “Like a Cheese Stick.” How adorable is that!?

• They “can’t believe how vulgar music is nowadays.” But their precious Eric Clapton sings a song called “Cocaine” — about cocaine. And don’t get me started on “Superfreak.”

• Who else would dare tell me an outfit makes me look like a beached whale?

• I was allowed to experiment with my own style, cut my own bangs, and wear high socks with sandals when my parents took me out in public. True love right there.

• They bring me wine and chocolate on Valentine’s Day when the boys don’t.

• “You would have been such a fat baby if you wouldn’t have been born a little premature.”













 
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