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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Hesitation will not help you choose correctly. Feel it in your heart, and base what you need to do on intuition, and the right door will open. Deal with partners, institutions, and agencies that can affect your life.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): People who have information you want may need a gentle push, but once you get the ball rolling, it will be easy to gain momentum. Don’t let your emotions cloud your vision.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You’ll be walking a fine line with regard to work, overspending, and dealing with people you owe or who owe you. Follow your instincts, but keep whatever you do a secret for now. If you have reservations, back away from the situation.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You can be the star by taking action. Everything you touch will turn out well. Making changes that influence others beneficially will put you in control. Do something to improve your appearance or your love life.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t brag about what you have. The way to make others take note of who you are and what you have is through gracious and humble offerings. By allowing others dignity, you will gain respect and attract a romantic suggestion that you cannot refuse.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Keep things tight between you and a partner. Letting too many people in on your plans or secrets will lead to obstacles. Don’t be afraid to make unexpected and sudden changes and decisions.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Fix up your residence, or size up or down in order to achieve greater comfort or to accommodate a changing lifestyle. Follow your intuition when it comes to relationships. Greater opportunity will come through personal or professional partnerships.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take better care of your health and emotional well-being. Focus on home, family, and getting things in order so you can get on with your life. A change that occurs will be beneficial in days to come.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You may think you have everything and everyone under control, but when you least expect it, someone will surprise you with a complicated and stressful situation. Acting fast is not the solution, especially if your concern involves a friend, relative, or neighbor.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Too much pressure will lead to trouble. Make sure you have a clear picture of what’s going on before you take sides. Back away from a personal situation and put more effort into your work.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Emotional deception is apparent. Private affairs must be kept that way, or you will be caught in the middle of a melodrama. You can help a friend, but don’t take on burdens that aren’t yours. Protect your assets, and don’t meddle.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Take on as much as you can, and show everyone what you can do. Push for what you want, and be relentless when it comes to dealing with slackers or people who talk big and do little. Good fortune can be yours with the right partner.

 

 

 

 


Notes to Self:

• Your girlfriend, the germaphobe, appreciates your liberal use of hand sanitizer.

• Your girlfriend, the romantic, appreciates your continued use of candles.

• Your girlfriend, the caretaker, is good at treating burns on your hands.

• Find a different way to text in bed; you’ve been hit in the eye with your phone one too many times.

• Facebook is not a productive forum for political discourse.

• There are a lot of bad names out there for gay people, and attempting a political discourse on Facebook will get you called ALL of them.

• In a fight to the death between your cats and a spider, your glassware, curios, and framed pictures are all considered acceptable collateral losses.

• Don’t spend an entire week’s budget at the bar this Friday night.

• For future reference: two-person horse costumes and sex swing contain many of the same basic materials.

• Your DroidX is NOT to be used as a flyswatter, even in “fly emergencies.”

• Learn at least as much about politics in the real world as those of Discworld.

• Josh Brolin, Josh Groban. Two different people.

• Plugging your iPod into its charger only helps if the charger is also plugged into the outlet. Idiot.

• You are no longer allowed to exercise without your iPod, lest you be left alone with your thoughts. Your troubling, disquieting, all-too-often-including-mayonnaise-for-some-reason thoughts.













 
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