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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Concentrate on working as a team player. Greater stability will be established if you are committed to whatever project you are working on. By offering your time, services, or listening to the concerns being expressed, you will enhance an important partnership.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t make a foolish mistake by letting your emotions come between you and what you want. Everything is falling into place. All you have to do is what’s expected of you. It’s up to you to show your worth.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Follow your heart, your dreams, and your intuition. Take on a little extra work, and you’ll send a positive message to your boss, clients, or colleagues. Pick and choose what you take on. Actions speak louder than words.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You will learn a lot from someone you consider a doer. If you don’t try to fit too much into one day or one project, you will do a good job. A couple of personal changes will alter not only your outlook but your status.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You can make a big splash with someone who interests you personally or professionally. A partnership can ease your stress and help stabilize your life financially and emotionally. Make alterations to your home environment.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Put a little pressure on someone you feel owes you. Call in favors, and take action regarding a new position or job you want. Do something you’ve wanted to do for a long time that will boost your confidence and improve your attitude.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Things are looking up both personally and professionally. You will have greater insight into what others want from you, and you can, therefore, deliver the goods. The chance to enhance your romantic life is apparent.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take a good look at what you are up against and take action. There is no room for second-guessing. You need to be sure and to act fast. Your emotions will play games with you if you don’t stick to your plan.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Rely on your experience in order to make the right decision now. Someone is likely to play games with you mentally if you don’t have your facts straight. Preparation will be the key.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’ll be inclined to overreact if someone makes a last-minute change that upsets your plans. Keep moving in the direction you feel you need to go, and you will discover how capable you are and send a strong signal that you don’t need to rely on anyone for anything.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You can enhance your life by making alterations to your living space. Money that is owed to you or that you don’t have to work for will be presented in an unusual set of circumstances. A promise made must be kept.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You’ll be broadsided by what someone does behind your back. Don’t retaliate. Do what’s least expected, and you will regain your status quo. It’s the little things that will count today. Keep it simple and to the point.

 

 

 

 


How to Make Winter Sound Cool:

• You weren’t making snow angels; you were making alien signals Mel Gibson would be proud of.

• You didn’t fall on the ice; you power slid to class.

• You didn’t tuck your pants into your boots to keep them dry; your boots were vicious and hungry.

• You didn’t just do a face plant into a pile of snow; you “became one” with winter.

• Your beard isn’t white with frost; it’s white with distinguished maturity.

• You aren’t wearing a scarf; you’re wearing a facemask to prevent yourself from inhaling Mother Nature’s dandruff.

• You weren’t making a snowman; you were marking your path with icy sentinels.

• You aren’t wearing 14 articles of clothing to be insulated; you’re skewing the U.S. Department of Health’s obese-to-average student ratios so the school can keep its vending machines.

• You aren’t wearing mittens; you’re wearing fist sheaths for the protection of the general public.

• You weren’t letting your car warm up; you were flipping the bird to Al Gore via your exhaust pipes.

• Your glasses didn’t fog up because of temperature change; you switched off your targeting computer.

• You aren’t shivering because you’re cold; that’s just one of your multiple personalities trying to escape. The feisty one.

• You weren’t shoveling; you were digging for gold.













 
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