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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take care of any red tape, rules, or regulations before you move forward. Don’t let your emotions lead you in a direction that will be difficult to change if your plans get unexpectedly altered.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’ll be emotional, causing you to miss out on something great if you are stubborn or unreasonable. Let others make their own mistakes and focus on doing your best, getting ahead, learning, traveling, and engaging in conversations about the future.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You have more going for you than you think and can make a difference to the outcome of your future by aggressively going after your goals now. A financial gain will help you make a crucial decision that influences your personal life.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t be nonproductive because you are surprised or in denial about something going on around you. You must shake yourself off and proceed to a new plan of action that ensures success. Start moving.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You need a change of scenery. Mental stimulation will get you thinking, and you can make some interesting changes. Do the research required to ensure your success. A relationship you have with someone will try your patience.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Have more fun. Collaborating with others will stimulate your mind and get you moving in new directions. Love is in the stars, and you can make positive changes to your current relationship or meet someone new who will fit into your lifestyle.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Pick your battles. Make sure you surround yourself with compatible people who understand what you are aspiring to achieve. Positive support will lead to your success. Don’t let negative influences infiltrate your plan.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Outsiders will have a better perspective on what you are up against and what you want than those closest to you. When it comes to your home and family, your vision will be cloudy and your intuition off-center. Refrain from moving forward if you are uncertain.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Get involved in activities, events, travel opportunities, or any kind of learning process that will help you move in a direction suited to your needs and abilities. A relationship problem is not likely to settle in your favor. Be prepared to give up something you treasure.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t limit what you can do because of the responsibilities or demands being put on you by friends, neighbors, or relatives. You have to say no if it doesn’t fit your plans. Taking on too much will lead to broken promises.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You have the ticket to your next destination. Don’t let an emotional situation stop you from following through with your plans. A secret plan or involvement will cause more damage than just being upfront and honest.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don’t try to get by without taking note of any rules or regulations. Shortsightedness will hold you back in the end. There is too much at stake to make a mistake.

 

 

 

 


Things I do to avoid falling asleep in my classes:

• Check the time.

• Attempt to decipher notes I took while falling asleep last class.

• Stare at professor and imagine him or her naked.

• Frantically search my pockets for a mint to eliminate the vomit taste in my mouth.

• Watch last season’s “Dancing with the Stars” reruns on the laptop adjacent to me.

• Read the messages I have stored in my phone.

• Open the forwards.

• Frantically turn my phone’s volume down.

• Blush because the people behind me can totally see the picture.

• Check the time.

• Take the plastic wrap off of my textbook so I can look at the pictures.

• Realize I bought the wrong book.

• Knit.

• Realize I don’t know how to knit, nor do I know where all of this yarn came from.

• Do a Google search of “How to knit.”

• Realize my phone doesn’t have Internet, and I actually texted my ex-boyfriend.

• Check the time.

• Calculate the lowest possible score I can get on the next exam without failing.

• Take pictures of the person’s notes beside me with my phone.

• Inconspicuously read the *DI* I found under my seat.

• Check the time.













 
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