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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Emotions will take over if you aren’t careful. Make sure a decision is not based on false information or because you are being stubborn. Listen, observe, then participate.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You may have plenty of options presented to you, but until you’ve done thorough research, don’t make a commitment. For everything and everyone drawing you in one direction, be fully aware that the flip side of the coin may be better suited to what you want to see happen.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): There is no time to waste. Put your ideas and plans into motion, and refuse to let emotional issues slow you down or stand in your way. You stand to improve your status, your position, and your future. Success awaits you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Rethink your steps and strategy. It may be a backward motion if you pursue something the majority of people in your life are against. Dedication, compromise, and learning what you need to know to move forward are required.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You have more control over your situation than you realize. You may be on a learning curve, but someone you respect and who has the information you require will help you out. Be ready to initiate a partnership or money move that will add to your assets.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): There are changes happening that will cause you to rethink what you should do next. Renegotiating your financial situation or readdressing a settlement or contract will not pan out if you are greedy or unwilling to compromise.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You’ll be in a winning position if you don’t let your emotions or someone you love or are responsible for stand in your way. A partnership can be the turning point for a bright new future.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Bypass any turmoil happening at home or in your personal life. If someone tries to confuse you or lead you astray, shake off the comments, and rethink your strategy. Change is upon you, and it’s up to you to make it work to your advantage.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You can manipulate any situation you face. Avoid anyone trying to back you into a corner. Think big, and get things completed before someone catches on.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’ll be prone to overreact, take on too much, or indulge in things that aren’t good for you. Before you make a costly mistake, reconsider your options. Keep a low profile, and don’t promise something you may not be able to deliver.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your past will help you reach your goals. It’s up to you to strive for what you want on your own. Once you take responsibility for the future, you will find the success and happiness you are looking for.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Not much will make sense to you right now. Don’t take on a challenge unless you are fully prepared to go the distance. Wait and see what everyone around you does before you make a move.

 

 

 

 


Random thoughts on …

• Valentine’s Season: Combined with Christmas, Valentine’s Day causes a giant set of blackout dates for beginning a new relationship. You can’t start dating someone after Thanksgiving because of the whole “What is an appropriate Christmas gift?” question, and you can’t start seeing someone new for at least a month prior to Feb. 14 or else the pressure to make this Valentine’s Day “the most-est perfect Valentine’s Day EVER” is far too great. So basically, if you don’t start exclusively dating your drunken New Year’s Eve hookup, you’re flying solo from mid-November to Feb. 15.

• Jeggings: Am I really the only person who hates these things? I agree they look sexy, but these pants couldn’t be harder to get off of a woman if she were a female rugby player at a Mormon prayer meeting.

• Snowmageddon/Snowpocalypse: The more fitting name is really “Snownarok” because there was no fire and brimstone—only ice and snow. I suppose one could argue that there were also no thunder gods or giant wolves, but let’s not get too hung up on the particulars.

• Subzero temperatures: It’s a scientific fact that the best way to maintain body heat during cold weather is to get under a blanket naked with someone else who is also naked. It also appears to be a fact that most of the single women I’ve met recently do not believe in science.

• Music at strip clubs: After years of careful consideration and diligent research, I have concluded that the song one is least likely to ever see a stripper dance to is “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” by Gordon Lightfoot. Challenge extended.













 
 
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