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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You’ll have to think fast and make sure everything you do is suitable for all affected by your decision. Making a wrong move could jeopardize future plans. A sudden change in your income will push you in a direction that brings greater happiness.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t confuse what you want with what you need. It’s important to keep things in perspective. An emotional issue with someone you are concerned with may be more your problem than hers or his.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Refrain from making impulsive moves. Discipline and hard work will enable you to bypass rash actions that put your timing off. It’s crucial that you stick to a set strategy in order to be victorious.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t blame others when it’s up to you to go after your goals. You have what’s required to make gains and can do much better following your own path. Separate yourself from the crowd and focus on what you have to offer.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’ll be all revved up and ready to be a participant. Your ability to surpass any competition looks favorable. Emotional troubles in your personal life will lead to change that will eventually put you in a better position.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Do what you can and don’t worry about what doesn’t get done. Right now, it’s important to do a good job. A change at home may not be welcome, but it will be necessary, so accept the inevitable and keep moving.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Stability is what you must strive for both at home and at work. Whatever is depressing you should be eliminated or dealt with in one way or another. You cannot function or be creative if you have too much hanging over your head.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You’ll have to drive a hard bargain if you want to reach your goals without too much interference. Someone will not be totally honest with you regarding her or his emotional outlook. Don’t miss out because you are being made to feel guilty.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You cannot let anyone else make choices for you if you want to win. Change is upon you, but it’s up to you to decide what it’s going to be. Take the lead early and stay there.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Not everyone will be happy with your decisions, but you have to do what’s necessary to be a leader in your field. Don’t take on something that doesn’t fit your game plan. Don’t allow an emotional issue from your past to interfere.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put your feelings on the back burner so you have a better shot at what you need to get done. Don’t learn the hard way by making mistakes. Do less, and do it well. Emotional deception is apparent.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Separate your personal and professional lives. A money deal is apparent if you call in a favor that’s owed. Don’t hesitate even if you feel someone is reluctant to give in. Your persistence will pay off.





Signs I’m Slowly Going Insane

· I text my roommate when she’s sitting right next to me, and then I text her that she has a new text, just in case she didn’t hear the buzz the first time.

· My blaring alarm clock doesn’t wake me up, but my roommate whispering, “Liz, you need to learn your mathematics…” does. I must be uniquely attracted to the word ‘mathematics.’

· I forget how to spell simple words, such as byo and gril.

· I wake up with random bruises all over my body, thus I have concluded that ninjas attack nightly as I sleep. It’s the only logical explanation.

· I fold and then stack my underwear into two neat piles and ROYGBIV my closet. (I cannot wear plain whites or blacks.)

· To make my roommate feel loved, I write her letters and then mail them to her. She is never as excited about receiving one as I am, though.

· I let my friends play connect-the-dots with my freckles. With Sharpies. And I give them clues about where to find and make the best shapes.

· I sleep on the floor because the mice in my ceiling keep me awake with their little mouse voices. Always plotting something nefarious, they are…

· I read books for fun and simply to expand my knowledge. Who does that?

· I participated in No Shave November and bragged about it to my male friends because I felt that—as a girl—I should attempt to break barriers and prove that girls can do these types of things, too. OK, not really; I just didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, so I thought “Why not?”

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