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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Go behind the scenes, and work quietly so you don’t lose momentum. Balance will be required if you are to put your time and talent to good use. Don’t let someone else’s lack of support hold you back.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You may face a letdown that seems to be insurmountable, but if you learn from the experience, you will pick up the knowledge and expertise you require to move in a new direction. Travel, communication, and redirection will help you find your way.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Be creative and think outside the box. A relationship may be going through changes, so before allowing it to spin out of control, consider what it means to you and make the necessary adjustments.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s all about how you handle people. Using diplomacy will be required, and with a couple of promises, you can also ensure that you get the support you need to successfully reach your own goals.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Go over what you have done in the past, and make sure you haven’t damaged a relationship. Doing your backtracking now will allow you to move forward with projects or personal pursuits later this year. Be the one who is mature and insightful.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t keep your plans to yourself when sharing is what you need to do to excel. You can iron out problems and make any necessary adjustments that will ensure success. Don’t let a personal problem slow you down.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Home may be where the heart should be, but it will be difficult for that to happen if you feel unappreciated. Do something that you find exhilarating, and you will be motivated to incorporate new interests and people into your life.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Emotional self-deception is apparent, and it will be your downfall. Recognize what and who are good for you. Your success depends on your actions. Following through will lead to bigger and better things.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Get involved in something that inspires and motivates you. Continually doing what others want will lead to bad feelings. Consider a move or change in your personal life that will enable you to resurrect your goals, leading to your success.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Point yourself in the direction you feel is most suitable, and don’t look back. Determination and rethinking your approach will help you gain ground and enhance your chance of getting the support required to move forward.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Keep your personal thoughts to yourself, and avoid any emotional situations that may stand in the way of accomplishing what needs to be done. A costly mistake is likely if you act without thinking. Collect old debts, or pay off what you owe if possible.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You have lots of options. Your ability to pull things together will help you get the recognition that you want. A burden from a partnership from the past needs to be lifted in order to make the most of what you are trying to do now.

 

 

 

 


Today’s Australia Day!

· Australia Day commemorates the arrival of the British First Fleet and their proclamation of sovereignty on the Australian continent. The Aboriginal population also celebrates this anniversary, though they refer to it as “WTF? Day.”

· Australia is home to platypuses, kangaroos, and Tasmanian Devils. The platypus has been important to developments in the field of evolutionary biology, while the kangaroo and Tasmanian Devil were essential to the development of Looney Tunes.

· The platypus is one of only a few venomous mammals—it just the platypus, the shrew, and my ex. But perhaps I am being redundant.

· Contrary to popular belief, Australian men rarely plunder. Also, the Australian government is currently spending significant resources toward the goal reducing the phosphorous content of their glowing female population.

· Australia is the world’s 13th largest economy, putting it just behind Spain, India, and porn.

· The unofficial national food of Australia is Vegemite, their version of the British condiment Marmite. It’s basically a sticky black goop made from the leftover yeast extract used in the beer brewing process. Yep, that’s right: the Australians somehow took British cuisine and made it even more disgusting.

· Australia is home to the largest single structure made a living organism: Mel Gibson’s ego.

· Originally a penal colony, Australia’s first inhabitants were criminals and madmen. In our enlightened age, we no longer send such people to remote, uninhabited locations. Instead, we have Congress.













 
 
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