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Letter to the Editor

BY DI STAFF | JANUARY 24, 2011 7:10 AM

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A 2nd Amendment parody

I used to think the right to bear arms meant that I didn’t have to wear a long-sleeve shirt if I didn’t want to, but apparently not. It seems to be a very precious privilege these days. I thought I’d better look into it, and I’m glad I did. The Second Amendment states: “A well-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to bear arms shall not be infringed.”

Gun-lovers have been using this as an excuse to be irresponsible.

With that in mind, I’m gonna start exercising my rights — and I’m not messin’ around, friends and neighbors. Yes sir, I’m looking into getting my hands on a fully activated surplus tank from the Army. Seriously, folks, it’s getting scary out there. The next time some old windbag like Rush Limbaugh says something stupid like, “Kill all the liberals and start over,” I’m calling to arms!

And I’m not wastin’ a nickel on these sissified rifles, pistols, or shotguns either. They’re not practical anymore, and my eyesight’s goin’ to hell. However, I’ll bet I could still wing a burglar or a hostile Republican with a rocket-propelled grenade or an M16.

Finally, I’m going to see if my congressmen can get me a quote from the U.S. Defense Department on some nuclear weapons. I want to be prepared when our tyrannical government turns on me. It’s my right. Am I right?

Marty Kramer
UI student


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