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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't let anyone bog you down with tedious details. Spending time with someone you love or working on a hobby or simply enjoying a good book will better prepare you for the rest of the week.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You can get so much done if you get up early and dig into your to-do list. Get together with friends, colleagues, or a group that shares your interests. A romantic outing should be scheduled in.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take care of last-minute paperwork if you want to take advantage of a tax break being offered. Discipline will help you restructure your current position for greater maneuverability in the new year.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Competence will be what secures your position or helps you get a new one. Get down to business. A love relationship needs a little tender, loving care. Make plans to celebrate the festive season with someone special.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Someone may be trying to get you to spend more than you can afford. Spend time with the people who want nothing from you but your company. Good friends and a little entertainment will be the best remedy for feeling low.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Time spent at home will be rewarding if you make it a family day. You can travel to an outlet that supplies something you want to give to others as a token of friendship, and get it for a bargain. You can resolve a problem concerning your home and property.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Complaints will only come back at you, so don't bother making any. You are better off doing whatever needs to be done so you can get on with your day. Negative people will bring you down, so avoid working with them.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Enjoy the company of your peers, friends, and neighbors. Taking an honest look at your skills and what you have to offer will help you put together a better résumé or proposal for a job. Love is in the stars.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Accept the inevitable. Spend more time making your surroundings festive or looking at a domestic investment that can help you turn a profit. Now is not the time to make a move but rather to research the possibilities.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Good fortune is heading your way. Talking to someone with experience will help you make a decision regarding where you want to be and what you want to do. A romantic connection will ease your stress and help you relax.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Let your intuition lead the way. Helping someone in need will give you a better sense of who you are and what you are capable of doing. Don't let someone you love take advantage of your generous spirit.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You may want to make abrupt decisions and changes that will affect your status and your position, but hold off. There is time to take action and waiting for the most opportune moment will pay off. Patience and a sound strategy will bring the highest rewards.

 

 

 

 


How I make resolutions, what goes wrong, and how I could solve it:

• What I do: Steal ideas from a "Top 100 Best New Year's Resolutions" list.

• What goes wrong: Companies such as Pepsi and Boost Mobile write these lists so that weird peo- ple with no lives (like me) will read them and buy more products.

• Solution: I should unplug from the Interwebs and be creative. Better resolutions can be as simple as just look- ing out my window. For example, I now resolve to train the squirrels behind my residence hall to dance to Beyoncé songs. We'll see who has the last laugh now, Pepsi.

• What I do: Tell friends my resolutions.

• What goes wrong: My friends are horrible, jealous individuals who — like all good friends — conspire against me.

• Solution: Invest only in friendships with squirrels who can dance.

• What I do: Make incredibly unrealistic resolutions, such as building a working spaceship or deleting my Facebook.

• What goes wrong: Come on, you know I can't delete my Facebook.

• Solution: I should start with smaller goals, like clip- ping my nails or not watch- ing Elf every Friday night.

• What I do: Write resolutions on Post-Its and stick them to my mirror.

• What goes wrong: Post- Its eventually deteriorate and/or are "accidentally" thrown away by spiteful roommates.

• Solution: Face tattoo for each resolution. The only logical solution, wouldn't you agree?













 
 
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