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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take a deep breath; refrain from saying something that might cost you. Not everyone will be on your side or want to agree with you. Consider what's being criticized and how you can turn it into a positive for you.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Take your best shot at achieving your goals, and you won't be disappointed. Speak your mind, and you will get the backing you need to move ahead. Love is in the stars. A trip or gathering will be informative.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It's what you do for others that will make the difference. Money matters will cause emotional upset if debts can't be paid on time. A last-minute change of plans will leave you undecided about taking part.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Work-related problems are likely to set in if you let your emotions get the better of you. Don't take personally anything that is said. A romantic connection will give you something positive to think about.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Listen to what's being said or offered, but don't jump in before you have done your research and understand the risks involved. You have to protect your assets and your future from any sort of negative backlash. Avoid a business or financial partnership.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Get your home ready for the end of year festivities. A conversation with someone you love will help to clear up any matters that have been left dangling. Don't allow your emotions to come between you and your money.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Follow through with your original plans. Focus on completing unfinished projects. Refuse to let your anger show. Go about your own business, and ignore anyone being negative or critical. An old friend or lover may cause problems.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You must take a position if you want to be taken seriously. Make a decision about travel, education, the skills you have, and what you want to add to your résumé. Advancement is attainable.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Overindulgence will be the enemy. A promise made must be kept if you don't want to look bad. Unforeseen changes at home or in your personal relationships may leave you wondering what's going to happen next.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Getting together with friends or colleagues for a little festive cheer will result in a greater interest in someone who shares your concerns and hobbies. Let the friendship grow before you decide to let your emotions take over.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don't ask for favors or offer donations. Protect what you have. An old acquaintance will put pressure on you to get together. Before you accept, remember why you didn't become lasting friends in the first place.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Taking on too much will add stress and can make you look bad. You are better off chipping away at what you already have to complete before the year comes to a close, instead of trying to be the super hero. Overdoing, overindulging, and overreacting must all be kept in check.

 

 

 

 


So, this Santa guy…:

• He knows when you've been naughty, but he won't turn you in. He won't really even punish you per se, you just don't get a good present. He's like the best Good Cop ever!

• If the reindeer ever act up, I wonder if Santa rubs his tummy and says, "Mmmm...haven't had venison in a while." just to keep them in line.

• Santa is not an equal opportunity employer.

• My favorite Christmas movie is A Christmas Story, followed by that other movie about the precocious little guy left all alone, who then has to take on those ruthless thieves all by himself with no help from the authorities. What's it called again? Oh, yeah: Die Hard.

• Santa likes the rich kids better.

• Santa's workshop must violate numerous customs and copyright laws. Everything he makes is already licensed and/or trademarked by other companies. I'll bet Disney is all up in his bidness. But I guess turn-about is fair play, huh Coca-Cola?

• My sled is a hybrid, so I could never support someone who supports the fossil fuel industry. Hey Santa, how about leaving gallons of E85 in the naughty kids' stockings for a change, Mr. Bioterrorist?

• It's ok when Santa breaks into your house because he's not taking stuff, he's leaving things. I bet that if people just left milk and cookies out all year long, burglars would leave them TV, stereos, and jewelry, too!

• I wonder if someday kids will think the true meaning of Christmas is that it's Santa's birthday?













 
 
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