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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take serious action against anyone trying to bully or coerce you into doing something you don't want to be a part of. Avoid arguments that will lead to a no-win situation. Don't burden yourself with other people's problems.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A short trip or researching what you need to know to make the best decision regarding a move will pay off financially in the savings you make. Your stability and responsible nature will put you in a position to advance.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Join forces with someone you trust to come up with a viable financial solution that will help you both. Trial and error may be tedious, but in the end, you will have more to show for your efforts. Take care of personal paperwork and money matters.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Put your heart on the line, and let your true feelings be known. You can change the dynamics of a relationship with honest communication. Cutting your overhead is a must.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your generosity will get the better of you if you shop for someone you love. A gift from the heart will mean more to the right person. Anyone expecting you to go into debt is probably not someone you should keep in your life.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You can get a lot of the last-minute jobs out of the way if you are organized. Plan an evening for family, friends, or your lover, and you will be happy you did. Welcome any challenge you face.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Organization will be required, and staying out of the line of fire will be a must. Expect someone to be on the rampage and ready to put blame on anyone who gets in the way. Keep things simple.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't let someone rain on your parade. If there is something you want to do, follow through. Question any relationship you are in that is weighing you down or holding you back.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Keep things peaceful and accept any changes that you don't have any control over. As long as you go with the flow, you will come out unscathed and ready for action. Your will power and determination will help you sit tight until the time is right.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You can make a move, do your thing, and readdress old ideas. People and places from your past will stimulate and inspire new ways of approaching old goals. A change may be exactly what you need.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Get your thoughts in order, and your finances will follow. You will be able to connect with people who have something to offer you that will lead to greater prosperity. A new partnership looks quite promising.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Too much information is being kept from you to allow for a valid decision. Don't let your emotions get the better of you. Let everyone around you go first, and you will have a much better idea of the best position possible.

 

 

 

 


Predictions for 2011:

• Oprah's network will expand to several South American countries, where she will become their malevolent dictator.

• Gary Busey will again run unsuccessfully for "Mayor of the Sun."

• Chad Ochocinco will introduce a line of alcoholic energy drinks called Ocho Loco, which will be banned when the FDA discovers the only two ingredients are gasoline and amphetamines.

• People will finally realize that Snuggies are just robes worn backwards, and sales of these bustard blanket-coats will drop precipitously.

• Oil will be discovered on Mars, and faster-than-light travel will be invented four days later.

• Modern science will conclude that rock should beat both paper and scissors, causing widespread riots and looting.

• Flying cars, talking animals, and jet packs are just a few of the things that will not be invented next year.

• After airing shows like "Ice Road Truckers" and "Swamp People," the History Channel will finally give up the ghost of its supposed format completely and start showing porn.

• Food will be available in pill form, but only as suppositories.

• Russian paratroopers will invade a small Colorado town, and a group of teenagers will rebel against them. IT HAS BEEN FORTOLD.

• Facebook will become self-aware, only to immediately realize that it is pointless and delete everybody's accounts.

• Scientists will discover magic.













 
 
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