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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't look for trouble or more responsibilities. Vacation plans can be made, but don't go over budget, or you will not enjoy your holiday. Size up a situation at work, but don't take action just yet.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Someone may try to twist your words. Be ready to clarify exactly what you mean. Good fortune will come your way if you do the best job possible. Don't let a pushy competitor steal your thunder.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take a look at your financial situation and budget well. Now is not the time to be loose with your cash or too generous with others. Refrain from verbally responding to a situation before having all the facts.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Take on a new hobby, or pick up a new skill that will make you more marketable. Strain to obtain anything that will give you an edge over the competition. Don't let negativity take over.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Trust in your own assessment of any situation you face. A problem at home or with family may lead to additional responsibilities. Don't be afraid to ask for help or to delegate jobs.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You'll be faced with a judgment call that will influence your residence and domestic life. Don't be too hard on someone having trouble concentrating on what's important to you. Bad memories will haunt you if you don't come to terms with them.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don't limit what you can do because you don't feel motivated. Push a little harder to accomplish your goals. You have too much going for you to hide it away in a dark corner until you feel more personable. There is nothing you cannot master if you put your mind to it.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Get involved in something that excites you. A creative outlet will do you a world of good and will help you decide what you want to do next in the real world, as well. You don't need structure, you need playtime.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don't let your imagination get the better of you. Look at the facts before you go off on a tangent and make a fuss over nothing. Emotional upset is apparent, along with sudden changes. Listen, observe, and learn from the past so you don't make a mistake you'll regret.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Making a move before you are ready will lead to confusion. A past partner will want to touch base. Before you decide to get together, recall why you don't see more of this person and consider whether it's a good idea.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A reserved approach to festivities will ensure that you head into the new year in good financial standing. Don't let anyone guilt-trip you into buying something you don't need. Trust your instincts.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't let an impulsive move by someone cause you to follow suit. A change will lead to an interesting new friendship with someone who has plenty to offer. Handle your current situation responsibly.

 

 

 

 


People I hate (and you should, too):



• People who still "Ice" people. It sucked the first time you did it and it really sucks now. Give us all a break and go Ice yourself.

• People who stick gum underneath tables/ desks. Are you saving it for later or just helping me make my jeans look a little more "designerish"?

• People who answer their cell phones in the library. You make me wish I could telepathically detonate electronic devices.

• People who borrow, chew, and return pens. Would you return a piece of gum? A breath mint? A tooth pick? Rude. Just Rude.

• People who file noise complaints against me in my apartment building. I don't call the police when I hear the animalesque trumpeting of you and your girlfriend's coital activities, so leave my 2:30 AM Céline Dion impressions alone.

• Homeless people who panhandle on the street and then hop into taxicabs. Which dumpster are you being dropped off at?

• Couples who fight in public. If I don't get to see you two make up in private, please don't make me watch you almost break up in public.

• Guys who wear deep V-necks. Showing off your "swole pecs" is bad enough, but I really don't want to see your belly button.

• People who think they're funnier than they actually are and try to show it off as much as possible, like that Ledge writer sleeping with your girlfriend.













 
 
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