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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't waste time arguing about something you cannot change. Be prepared for whatever comes your way, and realize that responding, instead of reacting, will bring you much closer to getting what you want. A tight budget is a must.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A greater understanding regarding your position and how far you can go in the future will help you determine if you should make a move now or stay put. Humanitarian causes will lead to new friendships and a chance to make self improvements.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Look over all the information made available before you react harshly to something or someone. Unnecessary purchases may be a quick fix for depression, but in the end, will only add to debt. Hard work and innovation are your best solutions.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Focus on home, family, and keeping a stellar reputation. Consider any responsibilities thrown at you to be a test that allows you to show off and impress others. The way you handle situations will lead to a position in the near future.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Impulsive action due to emotional upset will not pay off in the end. Concentrate more on work and productivity and less on spending money. Face any challenge with confidence, and play to win. Avoid useless arguments.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You'll have to juggle things around if you don't want to upset the people with whom you spend most of your time. An emotional matter will catch you off guard, but that doesn't mean you should let anyone take advantage of you. Act fast but not in anger.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): There will be a lot of information left unsaid. Dig deep before you make a decision. You have to be fully aware of what is going on behind the scenes. An old friend can give you an intuitive look at what you should be aware of.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Saying and not doing will lead to a poor reputation that can hinder your chance to advance. Any show of indecision or frustration will work against you. An unusual alteration at home will help feed your creativity.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Stay put. You will only make matters worse if you push your way in where you don't belong. Travel and communications will not be your strong point. Challenging circumstances are apparent and remaining calm is essential.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Caution must be maintained, especially in regard to institutions and financial matters. Look after your own statements and personal paperwork if you want to make sure that everything is taken care of properly before year's end.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You have to dedicate time, space, and your skills to something that will help you make gains financially, legally, or contractually. Don't be afraid to speak up in your defense. Timing is crucial.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Observe, but don't be too quick to move. You have to be sure you have the facts. Playing Russian roulette regarding your personal or professional partnerships will end in disaster. Control your emotions.

 

 

 

 


Ways to survive a monster attack:



• Before your monster attack, you should practice practical skills, such as running really fast for long periods of time, crashing through fences with your brand-new SUV and jumping up and shooting guns randomly behind you, hoping to hit something.

• Never, ever go into a cellar. It'll find you. Instead, go to the top floor of a building with only one exit. Yeah… that's much safer.

• Find a weapon, and make sure it's durable. Any sort of pipe or hard object will work. The longer the better.

• That's what she said.

• Never swing your weapon. Always jab. You expend less energy and can fight longer that way.

• That's what she said.

• If you have a gun, fantastic! But chances are you'll run out of bullets before you can kill your opponent, so use your gun in place of a pipe and jab.

• If you do somehow have bullets remaining, only aim for the head. Everyone knows that if you shoot them in the chest, it won't matter.

• If you believe you have finally killed your monster opponent, you haven't. It will come back to life. No matter how you killed it. You could have pushed it into the Fires of Mount Doom, it makes no difference; it'll come back.

• If you're in a movie with a big group of people, only one of you will survive to tell your story. Sorry. Good luck!













 
 
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