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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You've gone up against all odds and have surpassed some very difficult tests. Now, you are ready to take on anything and everything. You can make significant and triumphant improvements.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Problems with deals, contracts, and legal matters must be dealt with practically. Do not let your emotions cause you to make a mistake. Making an impulsive move may tempt you, but patience and observing responses of the people around you will be your best moves.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You will be taken advantage of if you are too generous with your time. It's OK to offer a little help, but draw the line if you feel used and abused. Focus on honing your skills or looking for a better position that will lead to greater advancement.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Improve your work, or change your job to suit your needs. This is not the time for getting involved in something that will limit your working on your own projects or goals. Mixing work with pleasure may backfire.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your ability to socialize and get along as a team player will enhance your chance to get ahead personally. Love is in the stars, and you can win points by doing little extras for someone you care about.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Say what's on your mind, but don't let an emotional situation get out of hand. Arguments are likely to erupt if you don't stick to what you know and what you want. Getting involved in someone else's business will cost you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don't let anyone bully you. Follow through, and make the most of the situation without getting upset or discouraged. Your ability to carry on with or without help will be a good way to show everyone how capable you are at getting things done.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't let anyone stand in your way. You have good ideas, and you don't need anyone taking over or trying to ruin your plans. Handle matters in your own way. An old lover may try to come back into your life.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You'll be passionate about everything you do. Love is in the stars, and a commitment or promise can be made that will change your life forever. If you are looking for change, now is the time to make it happen.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the end, you will discover that it's best to keep things cordial if you want to get your way. Unexpected changes to your current position will develop, so be ready to face the challenge and prove you can handle whatever comes your way.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put all your time and effort into your job, and strive for perfection and advancement. An innovative idea can turn into a prosperous endeavor. You'll be surprised at how easy it is to get others on board.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't jeopardize your position by saying something you'll regret. You will do far better if you don't make a fuss or ask for favors. A good idea can go sour if you aren't willing to compromise.

 

 

 

 


Possible excuses for why Brett Favre hasn't retired from football (again):

• Have you seen the reporters in his home state of Mississippi? Slim pickings.

• Wrangler roped him into a contract with the stipulations that he must (1) keep playing football and (2) wear only Wrangler jeans until he dies. In his defense, he didn't think it would this much longer.

• He needs to up his level of infamy before officially starting his adult film star career. (NFL heels are worth their weight in gold in the adult industry.)

• He's still trying to make up for the fact that his first completed pass in the NFL was to himself.

• He's a robot. He has no use for this leisure time. Or impractical human constructs like 'honor', 'fidelity', and 'shame'.

• His old age and many years in the league have brought about total senility. He thinks he's playing a casual backyard game of pigskin every weekend.

• He's waiting for the go-ahead from the NFL to create the Geriatric Football League. He's a shoo-in for QB of the Georgia Geezers, and that Depends spokesperson contract is enticing.

• Favre owns many NFL records, including most career touchdown passes, most career passing yards, most career completions, but he's still short of George Blanda's coveted 26 seasons.

• If he retires, it's so final, you know? I mean, legends can't just come back after being in retirement for two years and win three more championships, retire a second time, make a cute movie, and come back a third time on a terrible team, only to retire before anybody realizes they're back again. That'd be stupid.













 
 
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