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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You have to get your finances in order. Draw up a plan or budget, stop spending so much, and start saving more. You may be forced to take on a project that will be time-consuming, but what you gain will help you get ahead.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Get with the times, and talk to people who can help you get ahead. Partnerships may be intense but will be worth your while. Travel or talks with individuals who are serious and aggressively moving forward will pay off.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You may be heading down a slippery slope if you get emotionally involved in a project from which you need to distance yourself. An encounter that opposes you in every way possible will be the result of wanting to do too much, too fast.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Make the necessary changes at home that will ensure you have everything under control. Don’t let someone else’s burdens become your problem. Social interaction with friends and family will bring you closer together and help you put things in perspective.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Problems will result if you forego something you promised to do for a loved one. Difficulties at home will develop with the young and the older people in your life. Make an aggressive move that can help keep those people busy, freeing you to pursue what needs to be done.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Follow through, finish what you start, and show everyone you know how to close a deal. There is plenty to gain by acting responsibly and explaining what you are doing and why. Be upfront and open.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Rid yourself of any doubt, and put laziness aside. Get yourself in gear, and do what’s required of you. Focus on your résumé, interviews, or doing the best job possible. Don’t fear failure.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Trust in your own ability, judgment, and beliefs. Take on a challenge that will enhance your skills and expand your current enterprises. This is a great day to show others how serious you are about what you do.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you feel you have been shady in some of your past dealings, now is the time to make amends. Change can lead to a revelation that gets you back on track and reunites you with someone who has a positive influence on you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Step up to the plate. You stand to ruffle feathers, but you will draw attention to your talent, skills, and know-how. Don’t be shy. You are the best one to promote who you are and what you can do.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Get serious about your goals and your financial situation. Don’t leave anything to chance. Being too upfront about your plans will lead to interference. Act fast and be direct in your pursuits.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Look over contracts, and tidy up loose financial and personal ends. You can make a difference in the way next year starts out if you tend to the little things now. Set up your strategy and game plan.

 

 

 

 


Things in life it is reasonable to be suspicious of:



• Sparkly vampires, women who read books about sparkly vampires, and men who go to fan-club meetings and say they like books about sparkly vampires.

• People who claim to speak to aliens or your dead relative whose name begins with an M. Or maybe a J.

• Carnival rides that were clearly assembled by men who appear to be a prison work gang.

• Tea Party members who explain the Constitution to you, Tea Party members who explain the health-care bill to you, and Tea Party members who ... are, well, you know, Tea Party members.

• Russian women you meet on the Internet.

• “Only one previous owner who only drove it on the highway.”

• Frequent-flier miles.

• Things that claim to be shatterproof, things that claim to be bulletproof, and things that claim to be 180 proof. (Sure I won the bet, but nobody explain to me why I woke up with a sprained ankle, a bag full of chicken feathers, and TV’s Joey Lawrence.)

• Your girlfriend’s platonic male friend. Not the one she had before she met you. The one she met after you started dating. The one who is just waiting for you to make that inevitable slip up ... juuuussst one little mistake, Alex ... I mean, generic boyfriend, and she’s mine. I mean his.

• Psychics who need to charge for readings in order to make money (i.e., all of them).

• TV actors. They say they’ll call, but they never do. Jerks.













 
 
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