ARIES (March 21-April 19): Be careful how you handle personal matters. Someone you are close to will have trouble relating to what you want. Stick to what you can do on your own to avoid disputes. Get away from home for the day.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Discuss any emotional matters that need addressing before you carry on with your plans. Dealing with friends, children, or your lover will all lead to a greater understanding. Working alongside others will help you reach your goals.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You don't have to say a word. In fact, avoid talking, and you will get much further ahead. Focus on developing some of your ideas that can turn a profit. Take a serious approach to whatever you do.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Travel, love, romance, and seeking adventure should all be scheduled in. Relaxing or enjoying a little pampering will pay off. Don't let someone else's burden become your own when you should be taking care of your own interests.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Redecorate, or look at real estate, or make a residential move. Change is good, and it will help you sort out some of the problems you have faced in the past. A unique idea will allow you to turn negative relationships into positive and prosperous connections.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Discussing your plans with others will drum up interest in what you are trying to pursue and bring about possible customers or partnerships. You can move toward your goals quickly, but don't give too much away.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Being limited emotionally by a set of circumstances you face will lead to anger, upset, and disputes. Rethink your strategy. Follow through on your own if you feel strongly about what you want to do.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Give more thought to financial matters. It's important to take care of business and help an older family member in order to obtain control of your financial future. By implementing new ways to take advantage of what the system offers, you will get ahead.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): It's what you do to help others that will count. Show compassion and offer your services. Don't test the one you love or push your beliefs on others. If you cannot pursue something on your own, perhaps you aren't ready to travel down that path.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don't let someone from your past drag you into a situation you have faced before. Limitations will occur if you are trying to learn something new or while traveling to unfamiliar places. Don't let your vulnerability or uncertainty cost you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Someone you owe emotionally, financially, or personally will be ready to collect. Don't try to avoid what needs to be taken care of. Once you clear the debt, you can move forward.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Use your creative ideas to turn a profit. What you have to offer, along with a tempting presentation, has potential to position you for success. There is a lot to gain by handling fairly what needs doing.

Ways in which Eastern Illinois can win this weekend:

• Coach Spoo disguises himself as Lee Corso, convinces Gary Barta the intense interest in the EIU-UI rivalry prompted Game Day to televise it nationally at 3 PM. EIU wins by forfeit.

• Coach Spoo disguises himself as Gary Barta, convinces the Hawkeyes it's an away game, and puts them on a bus to Charleston. EIU wins by forfeit.

• Coach Spoo convinces his team to finally adopt the battle cry he's been pushing since he started: "SPOOOOOOOOO!" Iowa giggles itself to death.

• They replace the Panthers with actual panthers.

• They replace the Panthers with actual football players.

• EIU students—in the guise of Iowa Alums—throw the Hawkeyes a kegger tonight, then slip out the back and call the cops.

• They put the remainder of the beer from the kegger into the sideline Gatorade coolers.

• Coach Spoo's (seriously, could this guy have a funnier last name?) new pistol-style offense is involves actual pistols.

• Adam Robinson decides to emulate Hawkeye legend Ronnie Harmon. Four fumbles later the Panthers emerge victorious.

• The old "Liquid Heat in the jockstrap" trick. 60% of the time, it works every time.

• The game comes down to an Iowa field goal attempt.