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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don’t get discouraged — use this time to create and formulate your next move. Rely on your experience. A positive approach with a fresh idea will be of interest to someone you have wanted to work with for some time.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Take the time to nurture relationships and deal with personal matters. Romance is in the stars and planning a unique encounter with someone special will lead to a better future. A promise made will bring great joy.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Find solutions to the pending settlements and legal and financial matters. You can make progress with institutions and agencies that have been holding you hostage. Don’t let a personal issue slow you down.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You can be in control. Volunteer your services and join groups that you believe in. Your generosity — emotionally, physically and financially — will have a great effect on others and will bring you some unusual and unexpected rewards.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Time is on your side, and to reveal what you are up to at this time is likely to sabotage your plans. Find out where everyone stands first. Confide only in like-minded people in order to avoid opposition and controversy.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your suggestions, coupled with a positive attitude, will allow you to put your plans into motion. Taking a trip will reveal how determined you are. Love is present, so be sure to make plans for two.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You can eliminate your stress if you are willing to put an end to a fight that is a losing battle. Complete a settlement or agree to a contract before someone revokes what’s already on the table. Cut your losses, and get on with your life.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The more you talk about your project, the more interest you will drum up. Someone will want to partner with you or will connect you to an organization that can utilize what you have to offer.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don’t let things linger on when they need immediate attention. You may feel like relaxing or socializing with friends, but if you haven’t tied up loose ends, it will cost you. Prepare to deal with the unexpected and someone else’s burden.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A love relationship will be heightened by the generosity you show toward your friends, family, and peers. You can close a deal you’ve been working on for some time if you offer an unexpected perk to sweeten up the package.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You cannot win an argument, so don’t bother going that route. It’s best to listen to what’s being said and do your best to oblige. A promise made must be kept if you don’t want to damage your reputation.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your Pisces vision and charisma will align you with some spectacular people. Share what you have and what you want to do. You will make a deal that can further your own personal and professional interests.





Rejected DI headlines

• Police officer loses leg while disarming suspect

• Martian astronaut dies from mercury poisoning

• Half-bath sufficient to meet area man’s immediate needs

• Sexist stereotype holds up well to empirical scrutiny

• Area mistress’ unplanned pregnancy leads to shotgun divorce

• Menu fraudulently describes pancakes as “World Famous”

• Animal shelter closings linked to dramatic rise in canine-on-leg sexual assaults

• Hefty woman breaks wind, chair

• Theoretical mathematician can’t explain how he still has a job, either

• Humor columnist’s friends all have “great ideas for a Ledge” and poor follow-through skills

• Local woman forgets the Titans

• Generous male benefactor makes 29 “endowment” jokes during fundraiser

• Dennis Hopper still not relevant

• IRS fails to net projected revenue from new “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?” tax

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