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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Calm down and think matters through. Trouble with a youngster or someone who doesn’t see things the same way you do will cause stress and worry. Before giving ultimatums, try using a little reverse psychology.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Help the people around you. With your kind gestures, you can establish your position and secure your future. Romantic plans will help you enhance a relationship that means a lot to you. Don’t get angry at incompetence; see it as your chance to take over.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Feeling unsure of your position or the way someone feels about you will leave you guessing what to do next. Don’t think that you have to make a move because you have been given an ultimatum, especially if it involved money. If something doesn’t feel right, wait for something better to come along.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t feel pressured by anyone who has the jitters and wants to move quickly on something you aren’t sure about. An opportunity is available that can lead to a better position and a chance to explore and experiment with new acquaintances, lifestyles, and activities.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t waste time on someone who is unable to relate to your vision. Move on, and you will meet people who get what you are doing and want to take part. Your strengths will be undeniable.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The more people you talk to, the better positioned you will be when the time comes to make your move. A money deal or settlement may have a surprise ending. Keep your emotions out of the equation.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don’t get hung up on what everyone else is doing. You cannot give in to someone who isn’t willing to meet you halfway. Avoid confrontations with people you live with or near. Don’t be surprised by a broken commitment.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The more distance you put between yourself and the pressure being put on you, the better the outcome. Don’t fear making last-minute changes. Take part in an activity that gets you motivated and moving.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don’t waste time on nonsense when you should strive to make your personal and professional life stable. Neglecting to do what’s right or being indulgent will not bode well with someone you have to report to.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You can make some good moves regarding investments, property, renovations, settlements, and vocational changes. You will surprise someone with your ability to take on burdens and find solutions. Love and romance are in a high cycle.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don’t let money matters upset you. A lover or good friend will take advantage of you and your connections. Volunteer your services, skills, or knowledge to someone who needs to hear the truth and take action.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You may feel caught in the middle of someone else’s affairs. Meddling will lead to an irreversible situation. Your tendency to overreact will result in personal uncertainty. An unexpected move will lead to a feud.

 

 

 

 


How the Internet feels about Monday

• “Mondays remind me that I haven’t won the Powerball yet.”

• “People hate Mondays because it’s Monday morning and human beings aren’t meant to wake up until AT LEAST Tuesday afternoon.”

• “On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.”

• “There were fires, earthquakes, floods, famines, and wars. Then, as if all this wasn’t enough, God made Mondays.”

• “Ugh, Mondays: the absolute worst way to spend one-seventh of your life.”

• “It’s a scientific fact that 60 percent of all sucky meetings are scheduled on Mondays.”

• “Mondays suck because it means you have to acknowledge reality, and we all know reality sucks. (Reality is that pile of paperwork you abandoned on Friday.)”

• “The worst thing about Monday is that it reminds me of how good ‘Heroes’ used to be.”

• “God created Mondays, but we all make mistakes.”

• “Mondays were invented by Communists to crush the spirits and will to live of the proletariat. Capitalists only use them as a way to make more money.”

• “Mondays were invented as a way to sell more margaritas.”










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