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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your generosity may have taxed you physically and financially, but in the end, what you have accomplished should be worth your while. The trust you build with each and every person you deal with will help you resolve issues.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Assess your situation, and refuse to let anyone pressure you into making a decision before you are good and ready. If something isn’t on your terms, chances are you will not be happy with the result. Don’t compensate for someone’s inexperience.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Dig deep, and you’ll find the information you need to avoid making a poor decision. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Exaggeration is the enemy, and doing flawless research is your guiding light.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You can make some professional changes that will allow you to raise your income, but counting on money before it’s actually in your hand is not a good idea. An old friend may ask for a loan or donation. Offer time, not money.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your ability to act fast and counter any deals that may affect your status quo will be your saving grace. Someone from your past who has expertise and the experience you need will be able to help you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t believe everything you are told. Do your homework. Travel and getting involved in activities that promote love will be life-changing. Don’t give in to anyone pestering you for money or possessions.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You may try to get the most for the least, but in the end, it will cost you personally. Concentrate on getting to know people with something to offer that motivates you. Fix up your home — the pleasure derived will outweigh any distaste at the work you experienced.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t let anyone’s negative attitude slow you down or stand in your way. You have to do what’s best for you. Follow your heart, and you will achieve your goals and meet people who want to share your success with you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Trying to avoid emotional problems will only make matters worse. Honesty will be a must if you don’t want to face criticism. A dispute over money can ruin a relationship. Have a workable solution in mind.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Set the ground rules, and stick to them. Entertaining the people you enjoy most will also enhance your relationships. Your knowledge and expertise will lead to deals requiring your skills.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don’t be too quick to share your deepest thoughts, or you will end up in a vulnerable position. Face facts when dealing with people who are too complimentary. Not everyone has your best interest at heart.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): By not sharing your secrets, you will avoid worrying about what others think and how they will react. Diplomacy will help you through the day and enable you to bypass any difficulty. Less can be more if you are smart, precise, and stick to a budget.





Laws I will enact as president (in 2021)

• Public schools will be forced to pursue a more progressive literature curriculum; high-school students today are still reading many of the same novels my parents read in the 1950s! (And don’t even get me started on Shakespeare.)

• CEOs and executive boards of all major corporations will be forced to solely buy products from their own companies over those of any other. You want better, healthier food at McDonald’s? Imagine how much the quality of the meat will improve when its vice president of marketing has to eat sausage McMuffins and Filet-o-Fish sandwiches 21 times a week. And department store toys? I can guaranty those will all be lead-free within days. And you know Akio Toyoda drives an Audi A8 when nobody’s looking.

• Animal rights will be significantly expanded. Under new protections, all animals will have the right to marinate for 36 hours, the right not to be over salted or overcooked, and the right to be served with a side of perfectly seasoned home fries — because perfectly seasoned home fries go with pretty much everything.

• Nobody suffering life’s myriad normal pressures will be allowed to eschew obligation by self-identifying as a “good person who shouldn’t have to deal with this.” Instead, ACT will be contracted to develop a standardized assessment.

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