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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don’t limit the people you deal with, and don’t let them stand in your way either. It’s important to recognize what you have to contribute. Someone you need a favor from will reciprocate if you make a gracious gesture.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Listen carefully so you don’t miss important information about a deal that will influence your future. Getting all worked up is not the answer. Instead, take notes, ask questions, and stick to the rules.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don’t say no to an invitation that involves children or seniors. You will discover something new that will make a difference to the outcome of a project or goal you are working toward. Keep things simple, and work at your own pace.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You’ll face restrictions and added responsibilities at home. Prepare to deal with problems that concern both older and younger family members. You may find yourself in a no-win situation. Don’t let your personal problems stand in the way of your professional success.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Make whatever changes are required to help you feel more comfortable in your surroundings. A work-friendly area will improve your outlook, attitude, and ability to get things done. The more creative you are, the better.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Make choices based on what you want to do, not what everyone thinks you should do. A different approach to something you’ve tried before but failed at will give you a new perspective for the future. Your diversity will attract attention and help.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don’t limit what you can accomplish because you are afraid to tell it like it is. Your input will make the difference between a workable, good relationship and a partnership that fails. An aggressive move on your part will show your ability to take charge.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The more interest you gather, the more options you will have. A sensitive matter should be kept a secret for the time being in order to avoid an emotional scene. Stick close to home, and avoid any sort of power struggle.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A chance to make a good investment is within reach. A change in plans because of an unexpected development or responsibility will leave you scrambling. Get together with people who share your interests. Don’t exaggerate.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t take on too much or travel too far. You can expect to face frustrations and limitations. A love problem will arise that will make you question your current situation. Know the facts before you disagree with someone.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don’t let old debts drag you down. You need to create a situation that will allow you financial maneuverability. Love is in the stars if you frequent places where you used to enjoy spending time.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You don’t have to rush into a personal situation. Moving too fast will lead to uncertainty about your position and your personal status. Don’t feel threatened by what others do when you have just as much to offer.





So, I’m writing my next novel …

It’s about an underappreciated part-time comedy writer who finds out that his boss is hiding a mummy in the office fridge. Only it’s not an ordinary mummy, it’s a mummy like nobody has ever seen before, and it has mind-control powers that make people feed it capicola and provolone sandwiches — ones in paper bags that are clearly marked and obviously belong to other people in the office … because some people would rather bring lunch from home because the cafeteria food is expensive and gross. OK … maybe not “gross.” That’s a little harsh. But definitely not good enough to justify what they charge for it. Anyway, it turns out that the mummy isn’t even a human mummy, it’s the mummy of some sort of human/dinosaur hybrid that is the missing link in the dinosaur-to-human evolutionary chain, but the government has to keep it secret because if everybody knew that people really evolved from dinosaurs they would poop bricks, so that’s why the main character’s boss — who is apparently an undercover spy for both the CIA and the Vatican — has been tasked with hiding it. But, because he’s never home because he’s always spy-traveling, he forgets to pay his electric bill, so they shut off his power, and that’s why he was using the office fridge, even though it’s a poor choice for hiding a non-sarcophagused mummy. But, as it turns out, the main character is actually a dinosaur from the future (but you don’t find out until the very end and then you’re all like, “Whoa?! He was a dinosaur THE WHOLE TIME?! It all totally makes sense now!”), and so he defeats his boss (who we find out actually Elvis, only that’s a red herring) and then he takes the psychic dino-mummy back in time to an alternate parallel future where dinosaurs never evolved into humans and he sells it to a museum for, like, a million billion dollars and some baseball cards.

It’s semi-autobiographical.

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