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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Money and home are highlighted. You can buy or sell property or enhance your assets. You may have to cut your losses, but you will still come out ahead of the game and be well-positioned for future opportunities.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Travel, seminars, or conferences will all pay off in the end. Utilize what you have to offer by presenting, promoting, and networking with the people who can incorporate your expertise into their daily routine and budget.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Nothing will be secure or stable. You are in a good position but must protect what you want and what you have. Don’t be unnerved by anyone who talks big or is trying to push you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You will have to size things up before you make a move or create any friction with anyone at home or at work. A critical, negative attitude will be your downfall. Focus on work and how much you can accomplish on your own. An added responsibility can be expected.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Focus on what you have to offer and what you can get in return. A little creative accounting will help you save money later. An investment, settlement, rebate, gift, or win must be taken advantage of.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know what you have to do to keep things running smoothly. Don’t let anyone who intrigues you cause a financial setback for you. A change in a partnership now will lead to greater leverage in the future.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Nothing will go according to plan, but it will be an exciting time to make creative, personal alterations to your life. Don’t let emotions lead you off-target. Know what you want and what you can offer.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t be afraid to present what you have to offer. You will be well-received no matter what you do, so take advantage of every opportunity. A trip to see someone who can offer you suggestions or introductions will change the way you think and do things.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Love is in the stars, and it will leave you with mixed feelings about your past, present, and future. Don’t let uncertainties cause you to make a mistake. Finish one thing before you move on to another.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Consider your personal and professional options regarding partnerships. Some of the people in your life may be leaning on you too much and need a reminder to back off. Problems with friends, relatives, and neighbors must be dealt with promptly.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put in extra hours or look for a new position with more to offer you. A high-energy approach to projects will lead to an enticing partnership. An emotional issue with someone from your past should be cleared up.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The more you interact with others, the more you will learn and the easier it will be to get the help you want. Don’t limit what you can do because someone is putting restrictions on you. Fight for your rights.

 

 

 

 


Reasons I can’t stand to watch “CSI: Miami”

• David Caruso — because anytime a line could be dramatic or funny, he forces the writers to give it to him, only to then read it with all the sincere emotion of a damp beach towel.

• David Caruso — because not only can he not act his way out of a wet paper bag, but if you got a wet paper bag to take over the role of Horatio, it’d actually improve the believability of show.

• David Caruso — because he apparently gives the rest of the cast “acting” advice. That’s like taking driving lessons from Mister Magoo or not-looking-like-a-strung-out-ferret-with-acne lessons from Amy Winehouse.

• David Caruso — because he only has two facial expressions: smug and smugger.

• David Caruso — because his contract with the studio apparently demands a minimum of 47 close-ups an episode. (Though I’ve heard if you pause any close up of David Caruso and stare at it long enough, you see a 3D image of a cat playing a fiddle in front of a burning hospital.)

• David Caruso — because he has the marbles sincerely blather atrocities akin to “CSI: Miami is the best show on TV.” That’s crap; it’s not even the best show on CBS Monday nights. (Though, sometimes, it’s arguably the funniest).

• David Caruso — because I’m sorry, but nobody’s hair is really that color. Honestly, he looks like helmetless Darth Vader with a radioactive-looking Trump-style garage sale toupee.

• David Caruso — because making bad puns about the recently deceased was Jerry Orbach’s bit. And he did it better.

• YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!









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