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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Emotional frustration will make it difficult for you to concentrate. Think about what you want to see happen, and be concise in your presentation. Your willingness to work hard and take action will impress.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t give anyone a chance to challenge you or complain. Do what needs to be done without being asked, and you will avoid a disgruntled individual looking for a fight. The more compromising and agreeable you are, the better your chance of getting what you want.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don’t let your personal interests and emotions interfere when dealing with investments. Be shrewd if you want to get ahead economically. Your main concerns should be your health, welfare, and getting what you want for your money.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You have to talk to the one you love. Voice your complaints instead of letting your hostility grow. Don’t let your personal feelings influence a professional decision. Focus on what you can do, and be willing to try something new.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A romantic encounter will leave you uncertain about your current status. Share your emotions and focus on the here and now. Happiness is dependent on doing what works best for everyone involved.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Be cautious about being too demanding or pushy with the older and younger people you know. Help whomever you deal with, and give praise when deserved. Offer patience and a positive response.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You’ll pay for your mistakes if you aren’t upfront with your personal or professional partners. Now is not the time to hold back or be secretive. Someone you meet will share your opinions and intrigue you intellectually.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Get involved in challenging activities that bring you in contact with people you find motivating and inspiring. A positive change is heading your way. Prepare to make a lifestyle change.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You may as well relax and enjoy yourself. Projects started now will be hard to get off the ground and will lead nowhere. Spend time with the ones you love and your time won’t be wasted. Don’t let unexpected change lead to overspending, overreacting, or overindulging.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your emotions will be up, down, and hard to control. You’ll be inclined to stretch the truth or put blame on other people. Make some changes at home, but be sure you aren’t going to create problems for the people you live with.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You can make a difference if you’re willing to do something nice for someone in need. A job opportunity is apparent if you are willing to put in the time and work required to establish your talents and the service you can offer.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Spend some time with family and close friends. A physical activity will help you realize what you can do in the future to stay fit and relieve stress. Uncertainty regarding a relationship will cause emotional upset if you don’t face it head on.





Innuendos spouted while we watched the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy

• I’d like to steal her booty.

• I’d shiver his timbers.

• I’d like to see her Kraken.

• I’d jolly his roger.

• I’d roger her jolly.

• I’d like to swash his buckle.

• I’d hoist her up the main mast.

• I’d intercept that Dauntless.

• I’d Black her Pearl.

• I’d swab his deck.

• I’d plunder her chest.

• I’d polish his cannons.

• I’d broadside her.

• I’d walk his plank.

• I’d land her lubbers.

• I’d swash his buckle.

• I’d haul his sheet in.

• I’d avast her mateys.

• I’d set sail for his horizon.

• I’d like to be buckin’ her ears.

• I’d like to bury his treasure.

• I’d like to see his Davy Jones.

• I’d let her Jack my Sparrow.

• Ooooooooo, Tentacles.

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