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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Sit back, and watch what others do. Once you have all the facts and figures, you can make a decision. An emotional issue regarding work will remind you of a past experience. Learn from your mistakes.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’ll have plenty of choices but not enough time to take advantage of what’s being offered. You can turn a negative into a positive if you don’t spread yourself too thin. A little romance late in the day will confirm that you made the right decision.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Problems when working with groups or dealing with people who want to take advantage of your talents will leave you feeling jaded. Instead, do your own thing. Someone is likely to meddle in your affairs if you share your thoughts and concerns.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Express your feelings, and you will be able to solve a personal problem that has been bothering you for some time. A change of plans will give you an opportunity to do things differently. Make the first move.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Hold your ground, and refuse to budge if you feel you are being taken for granted. A change of plans or the way you feel about someone is evident. Act accordingly, and you can clear up a matter you have been tolerating for someone else’s sake.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Too much, too soon will be the problem. Taking on responsibilities that don’t belong to you or getting involved in a money matter you cannot afford must be avoided. Keep your life as simple as possible.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Keep your ideas a secret for now. Someone will meddle in your affairs if you share your thoughts. Focus on socializing with creative people and listening to what they have to say — you will be the one to benefit.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Greater discipline will come to you if you are settled in your personal life. Talk to the people who influence you the most, and you can resolve any concerns you may have. A move or change at home will lead to a better future.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You will face opposition and people meddling in your affairs if you don’t keep your thoughts to yourself. Travel and communications will lead to problems. A personal relationship will take a sudden turn.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Good fortune can be yours if you are diligent about closing deals and moving assets around. A settlement, legal matter, or pending debt can be resolved. Someone from your past can help you bring about much-needed change.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You cannot expect matters to change unless you take action. Opposition is likely, but at least it will bring everything out in the open. Use unusual methods to clear up old problems.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Life is moving fast, so be ready to take advantage of everything being offered. A change in your partnerships is apparent. Don’t be afraid to rock the boat; it will show others that you mean business.

 

 

 

 


Unsolicited advice

• When an employee manual states that one is required to dress “conservatively,” it is not to be taken as an invitation to come to work wearing a Glenn Beck T-shirt.

• A good body self-image is important, so always remember that not everyone can look like Michelangelo’s David or the Venus de Milo — and at least you probably have arms.

• “That’s just one more way you’re becoming like your mother” is rarely — if ever — going to be taken as a compliment, regardless of how it is intended.

• Commas have rules, and those rules need to be correctly, employed.

• Never join a citizens’ militia that holds its regular meetings in a Jo-Ann Fabrics & Crafts parking lot after-hours.

• Also, never *start* a citizens’ militia that holds its regular meetings in a Jo-Ann Fabrics & Crafts parking lot after hours.

• “I’ll stop embezzling, if that helps” is not an effective way to avoid being downsized because of budget cutbacks.

• Whenever you can, schedule important events on Friday the 13. That way, whenever they go poorly, you’ll have something to blame it on. (This goes double for weddings.)

• It’s rarely a good idea to get sloppy drunk with your boss. It’s also rarely uninteresting.

• Asking a comedian if he thinks your joke is funny is like asking a doctor if she thinks your lump could be cancerous.

• Never refer to your first wife/husband as your “first wife/husband” until after the divorce is finalized. And certainly never at the reception.











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