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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You’ll be tempted to blurt out how you feel and make moves that you will regret. You will do far better putting your energy into helping or entertaining instead of complaining. Put stubbornness aside.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Avoid getting involved in any formalities with authority figures who can influence what you can and cannot do. Bend and give a little. A democratic approach to whatever you want will far surpass trying to bully someone into something.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do things because you want to do them, not because someone else is involved. Show your enthusiasm by offering your services, but don’t let others take advantage of you. Don’t let emotional stress stand in your way.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You have so much going for you, and if you show a little restraint when it comes to your sensitivity and emotions, you will impress the people around you with your capabilities. Don’t let an added responsibility at home stand in the way of professional productivity.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You can formulate your ideas and start the process of getting things rolling. Don’t get angry with someone for not wanting to take part in your plans. Any indiscretion with money matters will meet with opposition.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t be tempted to make a fast move that, because of emotional reasons, will disrupt your home life and future. Love is in the stars, but you must move slowly and nurture the relationship if you want it to be lasting.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don’t let depression get you down; get moving. There is a lot to be gained through networking and socializing with people in the same industry as you. Your ideas will be respected if you share them with colleagues.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You cannot fix some of the personal things going on in your life right now, but you can focus on making the right changes for a brighter future. It’s a waste of time to get angry. Travel will bring you greater clarity.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You may be feeling optimistic about your surroundings, but before you empty the baggage you brought with you, think about what you have left unfinished. You should probably backtrack and clear the air with someone before you move on.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you rely too heavily on others, you will fall short of your goals. You should put more effort into your past and present relationships. You cannot move forward until you have taken care of unfinished business.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Be honest with yourself and others if you want to make positive moves. Embrace what ails you, and get rid of any habits that have been causing you to stagnate. You’ll meet someone special while tending to your problems.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Pushing too hard will cause problems in an important partnership. The more open you are about your likes, dislikes, and needs, the better the reception you will receive. Romantic opportunities will develop.

 

 

 

 


Some summer movies I’d like to see

• 2013: Zulu Bobo Fang (Tagline: Africa was just the beginning of the End Times.)

• Transformers 3: The Rise of Jennifer’s Body (Tagline: Dudes, we put her in a nurse’s uniform and a bikini for this one! Oh, yeah, and there’s some robots, too.)

• Titanic 2: The Edmund Fitzgerald (Tagline: When the gales of November turn deadly…)

• Pong: Dark Side of the Paddle (Tagline: When space invaders demon attack Atlantis, can E.T. stop Missile Command from going Kabloom?!)

• Hannah Montana: All Knocked Up (Tagline: Which one’s the mommy?!)

• Harry Potter: The Next Generation (Tagline: In space, no one can hear you cast Expecto Patronum.)

• James Bond 23: Sex is Not Enough (Tagline: Can Bond possibly handle both Ana Leigh-Hertz and Ima Tranny?)

• Michael Bay & M. Night Shyamalan Present: An Explosive Twist (Tagline: The ghost alien tree kamikaze transformer butler did it. Or did he?)

• Baywatch 3D (Tagline: More like Baywatch 36DDD, amirightoramiright?! But seriously, we promise we didn’t let the Hoff near the set for this one. There were shoot-to-kill orders.)

• American Pie Presents: Leftovers (Tagline: This one doesn’t even have a plot; it’s just 82 minutes of naked breasts and some bank surveillance footage of an erection-clad Eugene Levy depositing a check from the studio.)

• Thriller 2: This Time it’s For Real (Tagline: Wacko Jacko’s Backo!)









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