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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Get your papers in order now so you aren’t caught at year’s end with too much to do and no time to do it. You will come into some money or a totally unexpected gift. Don’t do something that really isn’t your thing.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Travel and intellectual events will bring you in contact with someone who interests you. Getting back to places you used to frequent will help you remember some of the goals you set that you haven’t accomplished yet.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do whatever you can for others, and you will get the help you need and deserve. Financial limitations can be expected if you are too generous or willing to take on responsibilities that belong to others.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Talks will lead to new possibilities. Put your efforts into work or picking up skills that will lead to a better position. A burden or responsibility that arises at home must not be taken on solely by you.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Develop your goals first, and show, rather than describe, your plans. You will be able to secure your position with someone for whom you have feelings if you do something considerate. Turn a hobby or skill into a moneymaking project.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A good friend will help you address a problem. A relationship that is important to you will experience difficulty if you have been neglectful. Talks will lead to a better understanding of what you can and cannot do.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You will have some very creative ideas that can increase your income or that have the potential to save you some cash at tax time. Don’t let your laziness or someone else’s negativity stop you from doing the things you enjoy.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You will be passionate about your prospects, and this should help you look clearly at the possibilities that exist. You may dislike change, but if things haven’t been working for you lately, it may be just what you need. Don’t fear the unknown.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Someone may try to hide a surprise from you, so don’t blow it by being inquisitive or suspicious. A financial deal looks promising if you follow through. Let your enthusiasm lead others to pitch in.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Join in any professional festivities that you are invited to, and you will make an interesting connection with someone who will alter your future. An unusual means to make some extra cash or a gift, settlement, or reward of some sort will brighten your day.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Not everyone will understand what you are trying to accomplish, but if you really believe in what you are doing, stick to it. The true test will come when you show your finished project. You have more potential than you realize.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A love interest will capture your attention. You are likely to be used if you get emotionally caught up in what others do and want. Have faith in your own ability, desire, and ideas.

 

 

 

 


Andrew R. Juhl, lyrical answer man:

Q: How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?

A: Zero. He’s already a man, otherwise the question would be, “How many roads must a boy walk down before you can call him a man?”

Q: Do you know the way to San Jose?

A: No, but I have a Garmin.

Q: Do you love me now that I can dance?

A: I’m not that shallow, and I still don’t love you.

Q: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

A: Oui. Très oui.

Q: Do you really want to hurt me?

A: Only if you continue singing this song.

Q: Can you feel the love tonight?

A: Ewww.

Q: Why don’t we do it in the road?

A: Because it’s really dangerous. And dirty. Not in the naughty way, but in the dirt way.

Q: Who let the dogs out?

A: My uncle Willard, when I was 7. Two of them came home. The third was hit by an Oldsmobile and died a few days later. Thanks for bringing it up.

Q: What’s my age again?

A: Depends on who’s asking. Unless you want to know *my* age, because then it still depends on who’s asking.

Q: Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man?

A: John Shaft.

Q: Do you believe in magic?

A: No.

Q: Have I told you lately that I love you?

A: Even if you have, it never hurts to say it more often.

Q: Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? A: Sadly, yes.

Q: Will you love me forever?

A: Let me sleep on it.

Q: Will you still love me tomorrow?

A: Now you’re just being pushy.

Q: He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?

A: Apparently not, otherwise you could have saved me three minutes.

Q: Should I stay or should I go now?

A: You should go, now. Although there will still be trouble, it will be only half as much as if you had stayed.

Q: Why can’t we be friends?

A: We can. What are you doing Saturday?









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