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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Getting to know some of the people who work in a profession similar to yours will help you create a better work environment, leading to advancement. A business acquaintance can turn into a good friend.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Take your assets and attributes, and turn them into something marketable. Don’t pass up a social or industry event with the potential to connect with someone influential for your future.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don’t pay attention to unsubstantiated criticism you receive from a perfectionist in your circle of friends or family. If you feel good about what you are doing or producing, that’s all that really matters. Avoid any emotional encounter.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Do what you can to help a friend or relative in need. Your generosity and kindness will not be forgotten. An unusual occurrence will lead to a new development in your life, bringing positive results.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Finances and new ways to bring in more cash should be your top priority. Starting a small home-based business can be your answer to greater prosperity and less financial worry. It’s time you controlled your future.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It won’t take much to upset you. Avoid conflicts or people who tend to stress you out or cause you grief. Spend more time fixing up your surroundings or making personal changes that will update your look or help you feel and look better.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Stop dreaming about what you want to do, and make it happen. Take the initiative, and change the things that are bothering you. Invite friends over. The suggestions offered will be valuable for making an important decision.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Interact all you can with people who have similar interests, and your ideas will expand to a place they can turn into a reality. Don’t stop short of your dreams, or you will have regrets. If you can dream it, you can make it happen.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Back away if someone doesn’t want to do things your way. Instead, go it alone. A strong sense of what you want and what you feel you can achieve will come into play and help you reach your goals.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The more accepting you are, the more you will learn. Travel, communication, and following through with your research and plans will bring good results. It’s time to take positive action — the future looks bright.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don’t let confusion cause you to miss out on an opportunity. Ask someone you trust to give you some insight into a situation you face. You can make a substantial gain by following through with a promise you made.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Romance and love should be on your mind. You can develop a closer bond with someone you love or meet someone special by getting involved in an event that interests you. Don’t hold back — be yourself, and let others love you for who you really are.

 

 

 

 


Notes to Self:

• It’s Van Allen Hall, not Van Halen Hall. Similarly, you might want to quit humming “Hot For Teacher” during lectures. Or at least stop sitting in the front row.

• Playing “Guess the Smell” is a horrible activity for a first date.

• That tweed hat looks good on you, despite what everyone says.

• Asking women “Wanna take a ride on my disco stick?” isn’t the best pickup line. It seems equally ineffective on men.

• Stop referring to your dwarf neighbor as “Frodo.” It’s just plain rude; you know his name is Gimli.

• Don’t assume you killed it; always back up and roll over it again to make sure.

• You might be hooked on phonics. Look into rehab. Or try methadone.

• You may have to stop combining your dual love of Fry Daddy mini corn dogs and all-naked Sundays.

• Bright orange is not your color; try neon orange or electric orange.

• Always get consent before designating someone with an unflattering nickname. Oh, and you should probably apologize to Horse Neck and Tuna Balls.

• The question “Who let the dogs out?” Apparently, it’s rhetorical.

• Eating Extreme Doritos doesn’t make you more masculine, it makes you more you.

• Don’t say notes to self out loud in public.

• Avoid the Stork.









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