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No Roger, but plenty of golf

BY MATT SCHOMMER | NOVEMBER 10, 2009 7:20 AM

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The man, the myth, the legend, Roger Lutsky, was nowhere to be found Monday night at Colonial Lanes, but that didn’t stop several UI intramural golfers from hitting the miniature links.

I could tell it was hard for students to focus on many shots with the thundering of strikes and gutterballs coming from what appeared to be the senior citizen’s league on the other side of the wall.

Of course, the course itself also posed a challenge to players.

Bowling balls and pins littered each hole — the reason for many players taking a mulligan.

A loop-the-loop, half-pipe, and windmill were the main obstacles, but most teams told me it was hole No. 16 that was by far the most problematic.

It featured a cluster of pins in one corner, and the hole in the other — but on a skinny and elevated part of the green.

I took a crack at the fateful hole myself.

I’d like to say I aced it, but sadly, I’m no Ty Webb.

It turns out that everyone else was right, and my score for the hole was well over par.

While 16 was definitely the most troublesome, it seemed like No. 7, the rotating windmill hole, was easily the most dangerous.

It was nothing like Happy Gilmore being hit by a Volkswagon, but one student was unlucky enough to be struck by the winding blades while she attempted another shot, perhaps reducing her putting abilities for the rest of the round.

The condition of the course was another cause of concern for me, as well as the other players.

The decorative obstacles were loose and beat up.

The community putters looked battered from use and frustration.

The breaks were unpredictable, shafting many players from possible holes in one.

And I found the odd, wilderness mural painted around the entire course a bit distracting, but it made me realize why Colonial Lanes makes the commercials it does.

All of this added up, and that was obvious in some of the team scores — some totaling well over 100.

But a few more adept players stepped up their games, and the round ended in a three-way tie for first place among Derek Johnson, Samuel Manthei, and Brandon Rohe, who played for the team aptly named Lafferty Daniel.

After watching all the teams play through, it struck me that there was no one to make sure the players marked their scorecards accordingly.

When intramural championship points are on the line, one might be tempted to throw a few more 1s and 2s on the final tally.

Hopefully, each pair stuck to the honor system and ensured the sacred tradition that is mini-golf.


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