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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don’t take things so seriously. Enjoy the moment, and have fun with friends and family for a change. Put everything aside, and you will enhance your relationships and feel good about your future.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Nurture a relationship to enhance your feelings for one another. A trip may cost more than you want to spend, but it will be well worth the money. Don’t hold back when you have so much to offer.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Sort through the things that are bothering you about your professional life and what you’ve done in the past. It’s time to put a plan together that will help you reach the goals you’ve set. Do your best to avoid mixing business with pleasure.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You’ll be emotional, sensitive, and compassionate toward others. Connect with people who can offer you the same understanding and solutions in return. A change in your appearance will give you added confidence.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Stick to the truth, and don’t let anyone talk you into getting involved in something that isn’t going to benefit you. Focus on home and family. Make your residence better equipped to handle everyone’s personal needs, and you’ll be a hero in your own home.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Listen, observe, and learn from the people taking action in your area. Once you see the ins and outs of a situation, you can handle a neighborhood or community problem, giving you greater authority in the future.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A power struggle can be expected. Don’t get involved in a situation that could be potentially dangerous. Avoid altercations with authority figures. Lie low, and avoid anyone who is trying to pick a fight or limit your freedom.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Think about your future. It’s about time you put an idea you have into practice. Fear of failure must not be allowed to hold you back. Success is often built by the mistakes made.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A secret you’ve been keeping will give you the upper hand now, but don’t exaggerate or you may be caught in the act and blamed for not being forthcoming. Put pressure on anyone owing you money, favors, or possessions.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You will stand out for your knowledge, expertise, and ability to take action. Your ties to your past will enrich your decisions and help you turn a working relationship into something special. Show everyone who you are and what you can do.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Short trips, attending a lecture or trade show, or just getting together with people who interest you will all be enlightening and will contribute to a decision about a partnership or contract you are contemplating.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Invite friends over or have a family get-together. You will connect with someone who has an interest in what you are doing and will offer good suggestions. There is money heading your way and deals to be made.

 

 

 

 


Unfounded rumors about Northwestern:

• Northwestern prohibits classes be graded on curves because most of its professors do not possess the requisite math skills to do the calculations.

• The Northwestern campus resides atop the desecrated Native American burial grounds of the Wesuckalot tribe.

• Northwestern’s mascot, Willie the Wildcat, auditioned to be the East High Wildcat in High School Musical. The casting agent refused him the role, stating “creepy, over flamboyance.”

• Northwestern’s official motto is “You could do worse… but not by much.”

• The Northwestern Alumni Association doesn’t ask alumni for money, it asks them for silence.

• Northwestern students are all actually carnivorous reptiles disguised as humans, plotting to overthrow our world’s governments. (And their plan would have succeeded, too — if not for the fact that one can’t get anything resembling an influential job with a degree from Northwestern.)

• Northwestern holds Division I-A football records for most games lost and longest losing streak. Oh, wait! That’s not an unfounded rumor … it’s an actual fact.

• Northwestern’s student body has a GPA of 4.0 (aggregate).

• Northwestern once admitted a 6-year-old dog to its school of law, only to later expel it for NOT having fleas.

• Notable Northwestern alumni include every part-time dishwasher at every Taco Bell in the country (that’s actually a major at Northwestern), the hobo next to the bank (doctoral program), and Rod Blagojevich … though they’d rather you didn’t know about Blagojevich.









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