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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Put your heart and soul into the development of something you really want to pursue. You will be able to maneuver your position to fit your own needs if you have a sound plan and the right people involved.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You have to be upfront about what you want and the way you see things unfolding if you want the same in return. Once you have laid your cards on the table, it will be much easier to strike a deal.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You will miss out if you don’t get involved in something that requires extra hours or taking on work that will prove how valuable you are. This is the perfect time to impress someone personally or professionally with your versatility.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Look for answers in unusual places. It will give you a greater sense of what you can do and how far you can go. Showing others your diversity will open all sorts of options that have been out of reach in the past.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Work on personal aspects of your life, and you will ease some of the stress you’ve been feeling. A partnership opportunity will open up through a mutual friend or someone you have partnered with in the past. Don’t let jealousy cause you to miss out.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You may be surprised by a colleague’s underhandedness. Protect your position by going the extra mile to do a stellar job. Your stability will depend on the precision and detail you include in your work and everyday chores.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You can accomplish whatever you set out to do. Now is the time to travel, share your ideas, and launch something that excites you. Plan a little romance for late in the day.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Offer your talent and services to an organization you are dedicated to help. You will be introduced to someone who will help you get some of your work published or recognized in the future. Nurture all your relationships now.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You will recognize an opportunity that will influence your life personally and professionally. Someone you know well will challenge you for jumping in quickly, but this time, you have to follow your heart and fulfill your own needs. Recognition is heading your way.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Rely on your experience to help you see clearly now. An old partner will help you revisit some of the things you once strove for. A fresh start will breathe new life into an old plan.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You have plenty going for you, but first you must let go of old grudges and stop blaming everyone (including yourself), for what’s happened in the past. Living in the present and looking toward the future will bring positive results.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Be careful how you conduct yourself. Someone will be watching every move you make. The more you stick to the rules, the better you will do and the more praise you will get. Work hard, play hard, and be honest.

 

 

 

 


Evidence my childhood icons were conspiring to make me gay:

• Transformers: no female Autobots on the Ark, just a bunch of guys holed up in a mountain.

• Bert & Ernie: two adult men, living together, sleeping in the same room, watching each the other take baths.

• Winnie the Pooh: made the thought of pant-less bears covered in honey quite an entertaining notion.

• The Smurfs: there was like a 50:1 male-to-female ratio, and most of the men walk around shirtless all day. Mmmm, Hefty Smurf.

• He-Man: Prince Adam walked around with his blond bobbed locks, chiseled features, and bulging muscles practically poured into a skintight outfit, but his alter-ego He-Man thought that wasn’t blatant enough, opting instead for the bare-chested BDSM leather and furry jockstrap look. Skeletor dressed the same way, and the two of them constantly smacked their magical swords against each other.

• Jem and The Holograms: all I wanted for Christmas one year was a hot pink wig, a leather mini skirt, and a toy microphone. No foolin’.

• Bugs Bunny: one fine looking’ transvestibunny, if you ask me. The guy never missed an opportunity to don a skirt, wear a wig, and cover Elmer Fudd with lipstick kisses.

• Snagglepuss: wears bow ties, cufflinks, and nothing else. Into theater. Talks like that.

• Popeye: sailor, always getting in pointless fights with Bluto over an incredibly unattractive woman, who was obviously a beard covering their actual desires. And he looks like a power bottom.









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