Bi-Sexual Chocolate claims Co-Rec championship


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In the warm, friendly confines of the Bubble, Bi-Sexual Chocolate handed Team Miralax a 49-26 defeat.

Cold, wind, and mud were nonfactors Monday night as Bi-Sexual Chocolate used its speed in a dominating performance.

“It’s so much better [in the Bubble],” Bi-Sexual Chocolate third-year law student Monica Mims said. “It’s nice being here. It’s warm, and the footing definitely helped our team.”

The smooth turf allowed Bi-Sexual Chocolate to wreak havoc on defense. The squad totaled nine sacks, and its defensive pressure led to five interceptions — two returned for touchdowns.

“Their defense was insanely quick,” said Team Miralax third-year pharmacy student and quarterback Chris Arp. “They were able to jump our routes. They were just very good at defense.”

Being able to turn Team Miralax’s miscues into points made things much easier for Bi-Sexual Chocolate’s offense.

The team often had a short field to work with, and it only took a few plays to get the ball in the end zone.

In the first quarter, Bi-Sexual Chocolate turned two interceptions into 15 points. Reed McManigal — a member of UISC’s men’s squad — made the first interception, then lateraled the ball to Jenni Fitzgerald, who ran it the rest of the way for a nine-point score.

The second pick, by Mark Sertterh, also went for a touchdown; he, too, tried to lateral the ball to a female teammate for the extra points but went past the goal line before he could.

The only lead Team Miralax had came early in the contest.

After stuffing Bi-Sexual Chocolate on its first drive, Arp found Andrew Greibrok on a flag route for a 6-0 advantage. That lead quickly melted away.

After Bi-Sexual Chocolate’s two defensive scores, quarterback Jace Bisgard found Abby Emmert on a quick slant, and the lead swelled to 25 points. Team Miralax was able to get within 14 thanks to a safety and touchdown pass to Mary Gockel.

However, the squad got no closer than that.

On the last play of the third quarter, Emmert made a slick over-the-shoulder catch for a touchdown that pushed the lead up to 26 — delivering what Wayne Larrivee refers to as “The Dagger.”

“Their offense was pretty much unstoppable,” Arp said. “They had really quick girls, which made it hard to defend them on the pass.”

Even though Team Miralax’s season ended on a sour note, team members felt like they left it all on the field.

“We played very well,” Arp said. “We beat the No. 1 and 3 teams in our league. Getting to the Bubble and just the experience has been great.”

Bi-Sexual Chocolate’s sideline was jovial and upbeat after the victory. Team members got together after the match for photos sporting their black and gold championship T-shirts.

“I’m so pumped,” Mims said. “I wasn’t here last year when we won it, so this is great. We’re very competitive, and I know that everyone on this team likes to win.”

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