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ARIES (March 21-April 19): A challenge will strike an emotional chord. Chill out, and let things come to you. Aggressive action will bring responses that are difficult to deal with and could compromise a partnership you are involved in.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You will face ultimatums that can lead to relationship problems. Before getting upset or acting stubborn, consider the consequences. You may want to back down and compromise before you lose out altogether.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A relationship that interests you will be heightened by an opportunity to work with this person. Don’t hold back; it’s your playful actions that will intrigue and entice someone to take part in your game plan.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Embrace change and take advantage of any opportunity that comes your way, even if you are shy or reluctant to venture down new avenues. There is a surprise that awaits you if you dare to try something new. Don’t let someone else’s responsibilities become your own.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t get caught up in the moment and overreact to something that is taken out of context. You have to be less opinionated and more perceptive if you want to make the right choices and avoid emotional pitfalls.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your communication skills will make an impression, opening up opportunities to experience different cultures, travel to distant lands, or to organize a service for those less fortunate. Speak up, and you will get what you are asking for.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You can take care of personal business that will ensure greater security and financial benefits. People with similar interests will enable you to get something up and running that you’ve been wanting to do for some time.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t give in to emotional blackmail. You are likely to infuriate someone trying to take advantage of you. Set your rules, and stick to them, no matter what. A partnership may have to be dissolved in order for you to move forward.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A little will go a long way, so don’t go overboard financially, emotionally, or physically. You will be able to take advantage of an unusual, interesting scenario that brings together what you’ve learned with what you are currently experiencing.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A pending personal issue can now be put to rest. A financial change is apparent but only if you are willing to do things a little differently. Walk away from a partnership that isn’t working for you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If someone is costing you too much, perhaps you should revisit your relationship. Emotions can lead you down the wrong path. If things aren’t equal, you may want to move on to someone willing to give as much as you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You can tie up loose ends and plant some seeds that will lead to a financial gain, contract or settlement. Don’t let a longtime friend or partner hold you back because of a difference of opinion. Love is in the stars. Change is upon you.





How the UI can compensate for the many recent budget cuts:

• Send UI Athletics Director Gary Barta to Vegas and have him make safe sports bets, such as the Iowa football team to cover the spread or the Iowa basketball team to embarrass us nationally again this winter.

• We’ve got an entire building full of laboratory equipment and expert chemists. If toothless hillbillies in trailer parks all across the state can cook meth and make good money at it, then we damned well can, too.

• Make a “University of Iowa Administrators” swimsuit calendar. Who wouldn’t pay good money to see Senior Vice President and University Treasurer Douglas True seductively sprawled across the hood of a cherry red corvette? (It’s gonna be July in my house all year long.)

• Start producing and marketing Iowa River bottled water. Say all proceeds benefit “the children.” Hollywood will buy it.

• Have the creative writing classes start working on and selling new material for Leno; it’d be a mutually beneficial arrangement.

• Corporate sponsorships. Imagine it: the Google Library, the Virgin Honors Center, Imodium AD Dining Hall, and Hillcrest Residence Hall — presented by Busch Light.

• I’ve got a treasure map guaranteed to lead to millions in buried Nazi gold, and I’d be willing to sell it to President Mason for the low, low price of $100K.

• Charge cash-strapped students a university loyalty fee of $100 for sticking around next semester. Just kidding; that would be ridiculous and insulting.

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